10 Feb Blessed Am I
On my journey to becoming a mother I have had a long list of negative thoughts that have entered my mind. Some days are worse than others and some thoughts happen way more than others. Regardless, it’s easy for my mind to be full of doubt, fear, lies, and negativity. Below are some of the thoughts that have entered my mind on any given day (unfortunately some of these have also been spoken to me by other people):
- You are so naive
- Why would you ever think that you are going to conceive without medical help?
- It’s never going to happen
- You are never going to be a mom
- You are wasting time
- Everyone around you is pregnant, why can’t you get pregnant?
- You are stupid for taking the path you are on
- You are only getting older
- Everyone around you is already a mom
- You’re behind schedule
You name it, I have thought it. As I wait and wait and wait some more, negative thoughts on becoming a mom continue to cross my mind. It doesn’t matter how much I focus on scripture or take my thoughts captive, the negativity still happens.
But, “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.” Luke 1:45. This verse. This verse is what brings me so much hope. This verse is what I constantly have to declare over and over and over again. When negative thoughts come against me I declare that blessed am I for believing! Say what? Yes, I am blessed for believing that God is going to fulfill His promises to me. He doesn’t think I am stupid. He doesn’t think I am wasting time, but He calls me blessed!
Whatever you are facing, no matter how bad the odds are, know that as you put your faith in the Lord that you too are blessed for believing He is going to fulfill His promises to you! You aren’t stupid. You aren’t naive. You aren’t oblivious. You are BLESSED!
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Elisabeth
Posted at 06:55h, 10 FebruaryYou are amazing, Caroline. You will never know the number of hearts you touch through this blog, and through your story. I wish we could sit down to coffee …. I relate so much to so much of your posts. Thank you for the encouragement, it means so much.
Owen Davis
Posted at 08:41h, 10 FebruaryAmen! “I will bless you richly. I will multiple your descendants…” -Genesis 22:17 I have been clinging to this verse and it has provided me so much hope! Praying for you!
Owen Davis
Posted at 08:42h, 10 February*multiply 🙂
Carissa Maul
Posted at 08:50h, 10 FebruaryThese are the lies that we tell ourselves, the careless thoughts that escape the words of ignorant friends and family who don’t know the words are hurtful. These are running through my mind and I too must remember that no matter what happens on this road, I am blessed! He has blessed me! Thanks for the reminder!
Natalie Timperio
Posted at 08:53h, 10 FebruaryWhat a beautiful post! The fact that you’re able to be so honest in a public forum is really meaningful.
Tiffany @ A Touch of Grace
Posted at 09:44h, 10 FebruaryThank you for your honesty Caroline. I’m sure it’s hard to stay positive sometimes and we totally understand that. I’m glad you’re able to turn to Scripture for reassurance.
Rebecca Jo
Posted at 10:26h, 10 FebruaryAmen… speaking that out loud today! I AM BLESSED!!!
YOU ARE BLESSED FRIEND!
& yes indeedy, I’m shouting it!
Ally | The Speckled Goat
Posted at 10:46h, 10 FebruaryYou’re behind schedule– oh, I’ve been feeling that one hard lately.
But really, isn’t that what Sarah thought at 90 years old? God isn’t limited by physical bodies or disease or age or this sinful world. He can do all things!
Thank you for this reminder today!
Annette
Posted at 11:23h, 10 FebruaryCaroline! I struggle with these thoughts often with the thing I am waiting for, a specific heart’s desire, the very thoughts. Fear is insidious…but so is hope!! Yesterday was a particularly bad day and I was so discouraged. Suddenly, I thought of you and said, no, I cannot be discouraged if Caroline isn’t discouraged! How weird is that>?????? But God is good!! God sends us the people to lift us up and to move us forward. THERE is no schedule…that is leaning on the noise of our own understanding. You are blessed and I am blessed to “know” you!! Just live as you know you are meant to and miracles will show themselves. God is in all of it!
Suladys
Posted at 11:48h, 10 FebruaryYou’re so wonderful and your journey to becoming a mom is going to be amazing. <3
Sharlene Marie
Posted at 11:50h, 10 FebruaryI too have negative thoughts and many times come with fear. Fear of not being able to get pregnant, of not having a healthy baby (not that is wrong, but more challenging), fear of not being happening “at the right time”. For now have been trying to focus on getting healthy for when the time comes.
Thanks for always sharing your heart with us! I LOVE reading all your posts <3
Jojo
Posted at 12:27h, 10 FebruaryMy jaw dropped when you said some people have spoken these thoughts to you. Some people just need to mind their own business. If they can’t be supporters then just don’t speak on the matter at all. You have touched so many people with your blog and words of encouragement. He will bless you, I have faith!
Marci Smith
Posted at 12:35h, 10 FebruaryYour faith is inspiring! God truly is faithful and will fulfill his promise in his time. God bless!
Samantha
Posted at 14:36h, 10 FebruaryIt is so easy to have negative thoughts in areas we struggle in. My we remember the Great God we serve and continue to believe the promises He has given us!
verajcoleman@aol.com
Posted at 14:40h, 10 FebruaryCaroline, only by the leading of the Holy Spirit have you penned this blog. Today, of all days, I have been battling my negative thoughts because I clearly heard the Lord speak to me this morning about having a child. I wrote it in my calendar to refer to it when it come to pass. The enemy saw me write it and soon negative thoughts have flooded my mind. I then began to meditate on these scriptures: Psalm 113:9; Numbers 23:19 and Psalm 37:5.
I, too, am standing on my faith for conception. A few months before I got married I had an ultra sound to rule out PCOS and Endo. I was clear and so that is all the medical attention I have had.
My husband had been married before and has four children (two boys: 21 and 20 and two girls: 17 and 16) from that marriage. His former wife requested that he have a vasectomy. Ironically, they divorced (years before he and I met) because of his wife’s infidelity in which she got pregnant. Ironic, as she was the one who encouraging the vasectomy. I share this because my husband said he always believed he was suppose to have five children. He was excited that I wanted to have a child when we met. My husband had a vasectomy reversal done five months after we got married. That is the only medical treatment he has had. In fact, he did not go back to test his sperm.
I met my husband in July 2012 at 45 years old and he was 51 years old. We got married on October 12, 2013. The vasectomy reversal was done on March 28, 2014. We have been trying to conceive since. I am now 47 (48 on May 17th) and he just turned 54. We are sill trying to conceive. I know I will be pregnant before the end of this year!
I came across Nerida Walker’s website and bought both her books: God’s Plan for Pregnancy and It Is Finished. I was so incredibly blessed by the pregnancy book. The book focuses on knowing God, His Word and the finished work of Jesus Christ. The book does not state to forgo medical treatment, however, it cemented my reasons not to. God is the Giver of life. I just do not want to spend thousands of dollars on treatment that are not guaranteed. I prefer to see my God at work all without my help or anyone else’s. He says His Word does not return unto Him void but it accomplish what He sent it out to do (Isaiah 55:11).
Caroline, you are not alone in this ‘surrendered’ walk of faith. I know God is going to do this work. Jesus has already redeemed us for all sickness and diseases, this includes infertility. I look forward to holding my bab(ies) in my arms one day soon.
Keep looking forward, Caroline. It’s going to happen for you. Thank you again for being led of the Holy Spirit and putting in words yours and my struggle today. I am adding you to my prayers. WE ARE GOING TO BE MOMS SOON.
In Faith,
Vera
mamabrucks
Posted at 15:23h, 10 FebruaryFacing those thoughts head on is so important! You are right..you are blessed!!
Kimberly Farrally
Posted at 16:36h, 10 FebruaryThank you for reminding me of this. I’m actually struggling through something right now and am having to wait patiently to see what the outcome will be. Appreciate the article!
Heather
Posted at 17:38h, 10 FebruaryGreat reminder of how blessed we are!!
Brittany @ Everyday Thoughts
Posted at 21:05h, 10 FebruaryAmen Amen! You are incredibly blessed and don’t be discouraged on your journey. It’s a perfect journey so long as you take every step with the Lord in mind. I’m so sorry that you have these thoughts and I’m even more sorry that anyone would say such harmful things to you. But believe that the best is yet to come. Many blessings!
Brandi
Posted at 22:43h, 10 FebruaryThis is a beautiful post! I know I went through many of the same doubts of whether or not I would become a mom, and the “helpful” comments. I love how positive you are staying, even though it can be tough. We are blessed!
À LA MODEST
Posted at 10:30h, 11 FebruaryYes and Amen! I am a new mom, and I get SO many negative thoughts in my head. It’s easy to get lost and drown myself in depression, but thanks to Christ, I can be free from this bondage. He carries our burdens 🙂
Nina
Posted at 11:05h, 11 FebruaryGod is likely VERY close to answering your prayers and fulfilling His promises to you. That is when the attacks and temptations to doubt and give up are the strongest. God promised me a son Gen 16:11 on 6/19/13. I miscarried on 9/16/13, went through an entire pregnancy in 2014 thinking my DAUGHTER was a BOY (decided to believe God’s WORD without confirmation so I refused a gender reveal ultrasound)! Had my coworkers, family, and friends throw me BOY baby showers, bought ALL BOY clothes. On 11-15-14 Lily was born via c-section. I heard her cry and even before they checked to see what she was I knew she was a GIRL!!! God blessed me with such peace and no disappointment! Also had NO GIRL clothes for her at the hospital. BUT GOD has fulfilled HIS promise to me. Contrary to hope in hope believe! My husband did NOT want any more children. We have a 5 year old and 1 year old daughter. Whenever he would say Lily is the LAST ONE! I’m getting a vasectomy!!!! I would under my breath repeat- Behold I am with child and I shall bear a son!!!!!! OVER and OVER again! Sometimes it hurt.. thinking of my lost baby also people made jokes about me thinking my daughter was a boy BUT I REALLY believed GOD! I had a supernatural dream a few months ago and I dreamed I pulled a baby out of my mouth. A few weeks after that I found out I was pregnant!!!!! This time I did a gender reveal ultrasound. IT IS A BOY! I’m due July 3, 2016!!! My daughter and son are not even two years apart. I NEVER HAD A CYCLE BETWEEN THEM! GOD CAN and GOD WILL because HE SAID SO! I often tell my five year old daughter Gabby. The circumstance is a lie, the symptoms are a lie, the feelings are a lie, the failure is a lie, the doubt and the apparently long wrong and missed timing is a lie!!!! Those who say it won’t happen are lying! God’s word is NOT a LIE He will come through for you!!
“When I say Alright even when my situation is not alright I make my situation A LIE!”- Tye Tribett
Job 22:21- Agree with God and be at PEACE! Continuously make your words agree with God. Even if you can’t out think the enemy, other people, your own painful thoughts and doubts and utter exhaustion with waiting. You can out talk ALL OF THEM. By making your words continuously agree with Yahweh’s WORD. The Word of God is what works!!! When you add your faith, along with prayer to God’s Word and continuously agree with it!
Some scripture and other words I quote when I feel doubts about God’s promises: I will not allow my 5 senses to dominate my thinking. I am blessed as I believe without seeing. There is a greater anointing on believing the WORD than believing sings and wonders. Where the word of a KING is there is power and who may say to HIM “what are you doing?”(Eccl 8:4). Until the time that His WORD comes to pass the word of the LORD will test me (Ps 105:19) For from me the Word of the LORD has sounded forth. God is with me whatever He commands me I will speak. I believe therefore I speak. For with God NOTHING will be impossible. Behold the maidservant of the LORD. Let it be to me LORD according to your WORD. The word of the LORD endures forever. The grass withers and the flowers fade but the word of the LORD endures forever. The word of our God will stand forever. Heaven and earth will pass away but God’s word will not pass away. God is not a man that He should lie or a son of man that He should change His mind. He said and He will do. He spoke it and He will fulfill it. Not one word of the Lord’s will fail. NOT ONE WORD. I could go on and on but what is your email? If you would like I will share my declarations of faith with you.
Mommy Maleta
Posted at 18:49h, 11 FebruaryI am praying for you! Thanks for your transparency sharing your negative thoughts about such a personal journey!
Tara
Posted at 18:51h, 11 FebruaryWe are blessed when we choose to believe God! He only wants the best for us all, even when the world wants us to believe otherwise.
elleseesyou
Posted at 05:07h, 12 Februaryyou are so wonderful and have a great heart. so many blessings and prayers for you my friend!
Jed Jurchenko
Posted at 06:14h, 12 FebruaryAmen! Scripture is such a powerful tool for putting things back into perspective. I think most parents have struggled with negative thoughts at times–I know I have. Thanks for sharing part of your parenting story.
Jen
Posted at 14:13h, 12 FebruarySending you love, prayers and encouragement tonight. The only schedule that counts is God’s!
Upside of IF
Posted at 10:34h, 17 FebruaryFound you on the linkup 🙂 I have those exact same thoughts just about every day. It’s refreshing to see this perspective and recognize my own negative thought processes that I am trying to correct.
Jaclyn
Posted at 16:34h, 17 FebruaryI’ve been thinking about this all week – I am blessed because I believe- not because I am living my life according to the world’s “schedule.” In fact, I heard something along those lines in a sermon this past weekend. Never are we to compare our lives to the world – there is never any truth nor comparison – trusting and believing in Him is the only way we will get to the other side!
LuAnn Braley
Posted at 16:22h, 23 FebruaryVisiting from “Sharing Blogger Love” at Kim Adams Morgan’s blog.
I have to add an ‘Amen’ to that as well. I was beginning to think I would not get to be a mother. My first child was born when I was 35. My 3rd (and last) was born when I was 41. There were some challenges being an older mom, but it has definitely been worth it!