Meltdown & Memory Monday – Week 9


Last week was a hard week and it didn’t help that Colby was out of town. I think it was just time for a good cry. Since the beginning of this journey, I’ve only had two other meltdowns. One was when we received the initial doctors’ reports, one was back in February, and clearly it was time for a third.

As I went back and read my February meltdown post I had written I was feeling attacked by Satan. That is exactly how I felt this last week. This whole journey God has given me such a sense of peace, hope, and joy. Strength that is only explained by Him. He has been so good to us. But, then the devil works his awful schemes and I just decide I want to roll into a ball and throw in the towel. It’s too hard and I’m tired of waiting.

I know I’m human and it’s ok to have these meltdowns. I’m glad they only last a few days. And, I love how even when I feel down, God still lets me know He is near. Just like He did on Friday at the airport. Then He orchestrated a girls’ weekend at the perfect timing with two friends who prayed over me and encouraged me. And if those two things weren’t awesome enough, He gently reminded me this morning when I opened my You Version Bible app that the negative thoughts are not from Him. I again was in awe of His presence:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 1 Peter 5:8-9

Another reminder to be aware of the enemy. He comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). And He comes to take away all the hope, peace, faith, and trust God has blessed me with. Dang Satan, I will not let Him win!! Bring on God’s love for me. Forget you!

The Verse
My sister in law sent me this verse to me last week after I told her about my meltdown. It was just what I needed. God promises to be close to us when we are brokenhearted. He hears us, delivers us, is close to us, and saves us! He offers Himself to be our source of power, courage and wisdom as we face problems. We are never alone! After reading the whole Psalm with Colby, I realized how great the whole chapter is.

The Blessings of God
He will deliver us from fear (34:4)
Save us out of our troubles (34:6)
Guard and deliver us (34:7)
Show us goodness (34:8)
Supply our needs (34:9)
Listen when we talk to Him (34:15)
Redeem us (34:22)

Our part of the equation
We seek Him (34:4,10)
Cry out to Him (34:6,17)
Trust Him (34:8)
Fear Him (34:7,9)
Refrain from lying (34:13)
Turn from evil, do good, seek peace (34:14)
Humble ourselves (34:18)
Serve Him (34:22)

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  • Emily
    Posted at 14:48h, 18 June Reply

    You are only human and no one expect you to be strong 100% of the time. ((HUGS)) for having a rough week. It’s good to get it out of your system so you can release it and move on.

    I’m going to have to check out that app. I’ve been wanting something to read the word more, and I probably won’t carry a bible around with me. I can really use that, so thanks for mentioning it!

  • Erika
    Posted at 12:31h, 18 June Reply

    I hate a meltdown-laden day or week, but it’s totally normal and understandable. I’m glad that you’ve come through with fresh peace and assurance…what a beautiful verse for this week!

  • Nathalie Willmott
    Posted at 22:15h, 18 June Reply

    I understand what you are going through completely – I think I can confidently say that everyone who has struggled to conceive have all gone through some sort of attack of fear and doubt! My hubby is doing a ways of the warrior course and apart of it was on spiritual attack, I love this part that he got out of it and that’s the greatest form of worship we can have is peace. I hope that the rest of the week looks up for you and I think of you often xx

  • Em
    Posted at 02:34h, 19 June Reply

    Sometimes we just need a good cry. We need to melt down, to let it out, to vent…all of that. Other times, all of those negative thoughts and emotions are spiritual attacks. It can be hard to know what is what, and it can be hard to draw the line between letting yourself purge those negative emotions and letting Satan get a handle on you in the process. It certainly sounds like you are keeping yourself close to God’s heart, allowing Him to comfort you in these most emotionally vulnerable times and also allowing Him to protect you from the evil one.

    Praying for you, dear friend.

  • Amy
    Posted at 14:54h, 19 June Reply

    I always get more down when my hubby is away, too. More time alone with my thoughts, I guess.

    I don’t think it is a coincidence that you and I blogged the same verse yesterday, but different parts of it. (The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10))

    Encouragement to you!

  • Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples
    Posted at 06:33h, 20 June Reply

    Meltdowns are okay sometimes. You are such a positive person but sometimes you just need to let everything out. Hugs!

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