It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
It’s okay to not be okay. This is a hard truth for me to understand and it is really hard for me to find balance with these thoughts. About 90% of the time I am positive, hopeful and full of faith and the other 10% I end up on the complete other side of the spectrum where I want to throw in the towel and give up on this journey.
I am not good at navigating my feelings, especially when they are negative and deal with how hard this journey has gotten. I guess these feelings have come up more lately because the longer we have waited, the harder this journey has become. I think part of the reason I try to keep the hard days hush hush is the last thing I want is for this blog or my life to be filled with negativity, bitterness, anger, and complaining.
But, sometimes it just flat out sucks. There is no sugarcoating it. It’s really, really, really hard. And because of that I am learning that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to have a hurting heart. It’s okay that life is hard. It’s all okay.
All throughout the Psalms, it wasn’t okay. How many times did David cry out the Lord? I have often echoed his prayer in Psalm 13 which says, “How Long, O Lord? How Long?” How many times am I going to have to ask that question? No, but really Lord, “How Long.” No, really….. I am tired and I am weary and I don’t know if I can wait one more day, so Lord, “How Long.”
Some days the battle in my mind between the natural and the spiritual is just too much. I know what the scripture says, yet I get so focused on my circumstances that I forego all the truth and let my emotions take over. I lose focus of everything the Word says and let the enemy and my unjust emotions take over my mind and heart. I know it’s unhealthy, but sometimes I dig a deeper hole of “poor me” and I don’t know how to get out.
But… I always do. I always snap out of my ‘funk.’ Thankfully my funks usually just last a day or two and then I can redirect my thoughts to the truth. Please know that if you don’t feel okay right now, that it’s okay. I do encourage you not to stay in that place long. It’s a dark place. It’s a depressing place. It’s not a healthy place and it’s taking sides with the enemy instead of Jesus. But it’s okay to have a bad day. Give yourself grace and give yourself time, but after having a pity party, seek the light and hope of Jesus and I promise you too will snap out it! Even if the circumstances around you aren’t okay remember God’s light always outshines the darkness and with Him you will be okay!
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Lavonne @ the OCD infertile
Posted at 07:36h, 17 JuneThat is something I’ve worked very hard on. Not only letting myself feel whatever emotions I need to feel (because I believe even the bad ones are sent to us to humble us) and not let them stay around long. I used to let one bad day turn into 20. That is when I believe the Devil wins. When we let a humbling emotion consume us, we forget all the positive things the Lord is trying to remind us of, and we become engulfed by negativity. We are only human, and it’s nice to see that even the most positive person has their bad days, it helps the ones struggling to remain positive see that it’s all temporary. 🙂
Keri Underwood
Posted at 08:01h, 17 JuneI’m reading through Psalm with a few friends and David’s dedication for the Lord is unwavering! It’s so encouraging to read his words of strife and then his words of praise. Praying for you and your “days of blah” as I like to call them 🙂
Nicole
Posted at 08:09h, 17 JuneThanks for your transparency, Caroline. Life is just plain hard and yucky sometimes. I love that you remind us its okay to not be okay – but to “not stay there” – keeping the focus on Jesus. He’s got this. I truly believe!!
Carissa Maul
Posted at 08:30h, 17 JuneYES! It is OK to be NOT OK sometimes, but just not all the time…much like you I can find myself in that funk and get myself out of it with the TRUTH. But there were times I didn’t, there were times I relished in the funk, the misery, and that is when the devil wins! I recognize that and don’t allow it to happen anymore. I am so thankful for your openness and honesty on this road. It’s good to know we are not alone!
Lindsey
Posted at 08:38h, 17 JuneI love this post! It is so true and so real. Giving ourselves some grace is sometimes the hardest thing to do but so necessary through this journey. Thank you for sharing because I think it helps to see that we are not alone in our “not okay” moments.
Jaclyn
Posted at 08:39h, 17 JuneAhh it really is okay to not be okay. And your blog can be as open and honest as you need; someone else needed to hear this (ME!) and appreciates this message today. I’m sorry you’re in a slump, so many of us are with you. ❤️
Kristin
Posted at 08:54h, 17 JuneI love everything about this post! Thank you for your honesty, transparency, and encouragement.
Amanda
Posted at 09:24h, 17 JuneI’m sorry that it has only gotten harder for you. It is comforting to see how the Psalmist cried out, asking the Lord how long, but that doesn’t always make your own pain easier. Continuing to pray for a miracle in your life. Hope you enjoy your weekend, Caroline 🙂
Kelli {A Deeper Joy}
Posted at 09:46h, 17 JuneThis is so good, Caroline. I appreciate your optimism and encouragement all the time and really really appreciate your honesty about being upset sometimes. The expectation to be optimistic every single day is unrealistic for me and though I get back to a good place, I can’t get upset with myself for being down sometimes.
Tomasa Rainey
Posted at 10:38h, 17 JuneThis was great! I think that a lot of us can relate to this. You posting this is a friendly reminder that we aren’t alone in feeling like this sometimes, and it also gives us something to look forward too. I enjoyed reading this 🙂
Rachel @ Countdowns and Cupcakes
Posted at 10:39h, 17 JuneI think it’s so important to allow yourself to feel negative feelings, as long as they don’t get out of control. Anytime I tell myself I shouldn’t feel a certain way, I only end up making myself feel worse.
Shelly
Posted at 10:42h, 17 JuneThis is where I am at right now! I also feel conflicted because I don’t want to be negative, but I also want to be authentic. Thanks for your post!
Rebecca Jo
Posted at 10:51h, 17 JuneI love this – mainly because it really REALLY bothers me when people always say as Christian, we shouldnt be bothered by things – the whole “Too Blessed to be stressed” thing. I want to punch whoever said that… in a Christian love sort of way 😉
Jessica
Posted at 10:55h, 17 JuneIt’s so hard to “not be ok” in a world that shows perfection on social media, tv, etc. We feel like we have to be “ok” all the time…but you are right, it’s ok to not be ok!
Chelsea
Posted at 11:14h, 17 JuneAW Caroline. My heart hurts for you. You are SO right; it’s okay to not be okay. You deserve that. And I don’t think any of us would ever think that you are complaining. You have a right to be angry, bitter and negative. I will keep praying for you and your husband. Your strength is so incredibly inspiring.
Trish
Posted at 12:47h, 17 JuneWhat a beautiful and inspiring post! I needed to read this message today. Thank you!
Lys
Posted at 13:17h, 17 JuneThanks for sharing this post. I feel the exact same way right now. Many days are too much to handle. Infertility sucks! I am starting year 4 of infertility. I used to compare it to a roller coaster with ups and downs every month. But then I realized that a merry go round is more accurate with no end in sight. Thanks for being real. I feel like infertility is such a hush hush topic and many people don’t even know I’m going through it. Glad to find people like you who can relate and share the journey with. God bless!
Megan w
Posted at 14:15h, 17 JuneJust yesterday I had a friend who has been through this journey before me tell me the same thing. It’s so easy for me to get caught up in how sad I am, and feel like God is just not there. But He is, and I’m clinging to that!!
Neely Moldovan
Posted at 15:11h, 17 JuneIt is for sure OK to be not OK. I think its normal to get into a funk no matter what the trials in life may be.
Mihaela Echols
Posted at 15:55h, 17 JuneSome say christians are supposed to walk around all joyful but we have the joy of the Lord in us but we are also aloud to grieve. It’s so hard to remember that sometimes. But God wants us to be real in our walk with him and grieve when we are hurting.
Christy F
Posted at 16:23h, 17 JuneI needed to read this today. Psalms 13 is always a chapter. Thank you for sharing
Brittany
Posted at 16:57h, 17 JuneThank you for being so real and so honest and so open! I think at times I feel like I have to “be ok” but on the other hand it’s so hard! Glad to hear it’s not just me that feels like this. You’re always so inspiring! Thank you 🙂
Andrea
Posted at 17:12h, 17 JuneGod just wants us the way we are
Pamela
Posted at 18:47h, 17 JuneI struggle with this at times, too. I believe joy is a choice. But with chronic pain and disease, there are days I can hardly move. I think this is when authenticity is important. And in the hard, show God’s grace.
Cat
Posted at 18:51h, 17 JuneThank you for the encouragement! Sometimes we just have to look the other way when life is not going the direction we’d like it to be.
Patricia
Posted at 19:44h, 17 JuneThis is so necessary friend. Every day won’t be glitters and sunshine, but as you said, it’s important to acknowledge then move on from that negative space. God is with us at the highs and lows and doesn’t love us any less.
Allison
Posted at 21:18h, 17 JuneI find it so hard sometimes to let my feelings show and to not be ok but I needed this reminder, that it’s ok!
Aly
Posted at 00:50h, 18 JuneLOVE this! Exactly my feelings, most the time I’m good. And the other time it’s like deep dark depression and I want to quit at life. I’m so thankful for you!
Laura | Making Baby Provence
Posted at 10:43h, 18 JuneThis is so very true. I struggle so much with knowing that it’s okay to be sad. I often feel like I should be able to stay positive all of the time. “My journey isn’t as tough as hers.” That’s where the Devil really gets me…making me feel shame and comparison. Sending you hugs full of understanding today, friend.
Cori
Posted at 17:14h, 18 JuneI think everyone goes through that. I’m pretty sure I go through the funk every other week. Takes me a day or two to snap out of it. Journaling and spilling my guts usually helps.
ellesees.net
Posted at 05:18h, 20 JuneCan 100% relate to this post! I hope you had a good birthday!!
Amy March
Posted at 12:18h, 20 JuneThis this this. I have felt like my grieving has been so rushed by people around me, but dark days are a part of life. I won’t feel this way forever, but for now, it’s okay that I do. It’s okay that my heart is heavy and the world feels dark. That’s allowed.
Jane Allen
Posted at 04:08h, 22 JuneI’m so glad I got to read this. Just yesterday, I got into a funk, like you called it. I could do nothing. I just rested in the presence of the Lord, while reading the Psalms, especially Psalms 103. I found joy in the midst of my pain. It can be hard but knowing the Lord is always with us gives me joy. I pray you find peace in your situation. Yes, I agree, it’s okay not to be okay.
Jed
Posted at 17:50h, 22 JuneThank you for the reminder to give ourselves grace and time. It’s something I needed to be reminded of today as our family waits and wrestles with our own challenges. Wishing you grace and peace on your ongoing journey.
Mindy Robinson
Posted at 18:22h, 24 JuneI get it girl. It’s very hard to find a balance between the grief as well as the hope. When I have days where I can barely get up off the couch I tell myself that tomorrow will be better! Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I love that the Lord also shares our tears and hurts. He grieves with us! So reassuring.
Alana
Posted at 23:33h, 24 JuneI could have written this post myself, for how I feel- about 90% positive, 10% negative. I try to keep the negative out, but I appreciate your honesty and candidness. It is a great reminder to all of us to allow those hard days to happen, then move back to a place of faith with God and His promises. Thank you for this!
Rhonda
Posted at 18:08h, 06 JulyThanks for being honest. Remaining hopeful while waiting is hard! I’m so glad the down times don’t last long for you.