Stop Asking “Why?”

Why? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is there evil in this world? Why am I going through infertility? Why did my nephew pass away? Why,Why, why, why? How many times and how often have you asked that question? Do you realize it gets you nowhere? Answering “why?” doesn’t change anything. It won’t bring you a baby or a spouse, it won’t bring you joy, it won’t stop all the evil in the world, and it won’t change your circumstances.

God is very aware of both the good and the bad that you are facing today and He is not surprised at any of it. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.” Isaiah 55:11. He knows what He is doing and there is no way to ever fully understand His ways or His thoughts, so don’t waste your energy doing so.

My advice? Stop asking why. I love Graham Cooke and how he encourages believers to stop asking why and to start asking “Lord, who is it that you want to be for me now?” or “How do you want to use this situation?” or “What should we do now?”

Aren’t those better questions to ask? God desires to be in a relationship with you and doesn’t need you to know all the answers to solve the worlds problems, but He does want you to figure out how best to have a relationship with Him. Who does He want to be for you? Is it friend? Is it comforter? Is it healer? Is it provider?

Stop spending time trying to figure out why and start asking the Lord who He wants to be for you. Seeking Him, instead of seeking “why?” will bring you true contentment and fulfillment, so much more than the answer you might be seeking with your questions ever could.

Stop Asking Why - In Due Time Blog

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  • torthuil
    Posted at 07:32h, 24 February Reply

    This is such great advice. Hard to follow sometimes (often?) but true.

  • elleseesyou
    Posted at 07:49h, 24 February Reply

    i know i have been guilty of this. sometimes i don’t see the reason in things happening or not coming to pass. but i need to remember to stop asking why.

  • Rebecca Jo
    Posted at 08:39h, 24 February Reply

    Yep… sitting in “why” only leads you to sitting in a fairy tale land & regret & the past… nothing that God can work with… its all about the future & moving forward.

  • Kelly @ Southern Komfort Blog
    Posted at 09:41h, 24 February Reply

    Yes, yes, so much yes! We are not meant to understand God’s ways (thank goodness – my head would explode lol!).

  • Carissa Maul
    Posted at 09:49h, 24 February Reply

    Oh my goodness, this came in my email this morning as I was just in tears wondering WHY WHY WHY, it’s like it was meant for me to read today, Meant to remind me that the WHY is not important. Thank you for sharing this today!

  • Mikki Jo
    Posted at 09:52h, 24 February Reply

    Yes I do this sometimes and I have to remind myself God has a better plan. He sees the future and knows the hidden path that is the best course to take us down.

  • Coupon Diva (@RealCouponDiva)
    Posted at 10:49h, 24 February Reply

    i’m working on that 🙂

  • andthewindscreamsmary
    Posted at 11:23h, 24 February Reply

    I have been asking “Why?” much too often recently. This is good advice.

  • littlemisscant
    Posted at 11:38h, 24 February Reply

    Oh wow…infertility and losing a loved one are always hard to deal with and trusting God that there is a plan even though it hurts can be hard. I have dealt with infertility and multiple miscarriages so I know the pain that comes with it. Praying that God will use those tragedies to help others and heal you along the way. Keep your chin up sister!

  • Jojo
    Posted at 12:45h, 24 February Reply

    Like always love your perspective.

  • Cheryl
    Posted at 15:22h, 24 February Reply

    Your post made me think of Jehoshaphat and where he said, “Neither know we what to do, but our eyes are upon Thee!” Life is so perplexing, and the questions that swirl our minds are many, but as you said, if we would just elevate our focus and look at HIM, instead of the circumstances, we would be so much better off, and our perspective would completely change. We will always wonder why things happen the way they do, but I love what you shared about asking God those other questions instead of asking “why”. God bless you, Caroline!

  • Jaclyn
    Posted at 17:35h, 24 February Reply

    I heard a pastor once say, “Don’t ask ‘why,’ ask, ‘what am I supposed to learn from this?” Thanks for the reminder!! ?

  • Anna Clarke
    Posted at 17:51h, 24 February Reply

    This is a much needed conversation to talk about with loved ones. I think also recognizing/keeping in mind the pain and heartache that stems from the “why” question people have in that same conversation goes a long way. We should always be careful to encourage them with genuine love as we share God’s truth to people in broken, tender, and challenging times.

  • brittanyputman15
    Posted at 19:32h, 24 February Reply

    Great post. It isn’t something that we want to hear but sometimes things just happen. We can’t change our circumstances and so we just have to let God take the lead and trust him.

  • pwcamy
    Posted at 20:15h, 24 February Reply

    I love the question, “What should we do now?” Reminds us that God is on our side, and His plan is so amazing!

  • Ashley
    Posted at 21:12h, 24 February Reply

    I love this! Sometimes I find myself worrying so much about the “why” . I need to remember that is not for me to worry about.

  • barnabaslane
    Posted at 21:35h, 24 February Reply

    Great post. Such a hard but needed reminder!

  • Rebeca
    Posted at 21:53h, 24 February Reply

    I am going through a few trials and this is right on time Caroline. Thanks for sharing.

  • lifeofaministermom
    Posted at 04:05h, 25 February Reply

    This can be such a hard pill to swallow, but it’s a powerful truth nonetheless!

  • Samantha
    Posted at 05:29h, 25 February Reply

    Wonderful advice! Nothing wrong with asking why at times but sometimes God isn’t going to reveal it to us until later down the road or when we get to the Glory Land. But there are always ways we can grow as a person and closer to the LORD!

  • Marci Smith
    Posted at 05:55h, 25 February Reply

    This is probably the hardest advice to swallow! It’s so easy to chase after the answer to why, and forget what we’re supposed to be focusing on.

  • lesleyryden
    Posted at 09:05h, 25 February Reply

    Hey Caroline,
    I found you on SRT and I’m thankful I came on over! I just launched my blog last week and I’m thankful to connect with other ladies chasing Jesus and encouraging each other! I’d love for you to come on over to my site sometime too! Much love and prayers!
    Lesley Ryden

  • Sheila
    Posted at 09:10h, 25 February Reply

    When we spend so much time on asking the ‘Why” we don’t allow God to lead us forward. It is like tripping over something and looking back to see what you tripped over and running into something else. I have found myself in this place of asking why and it always ends up becoming a trust issue. I decided my “whys” were going to turn into I don’t understand, but I will trust you because I can’t trust myself….our emotions are unstable and can lead us to some very dark and lonely places, but God will lead us to the shelter of His wings. We don’t have to like the circumstance we just have to love God through it. Great, raw article and great reminder of the importance of keeping the faith!

  • the longest journey
    Posted at 12:13h, 25 February Reply

    I really needed this reminder. There are times I loose myself on the why and I loose focus on what really matters. Love your writing. xo

    Posted at 19:33h, 25 February Reply

    This makes me think of when Job kept asking God “why,” and God answers Him in a way you don’t expect. Basically, that He’s got everything in control and that it is pointless to even question Him. Although it seems cold, it is quite reassuring!

  • Brianna George
    Posted at 21:24h, 25 February Reply

    The most futile question in a believers life is why. Instead of asking why I ask where. Where would you have me go? Who. Who would you have me love? 🙂

  • Jed Jurchenko
    Posted at 07:19h, 26 February Reply

    Thank you for this. I do indeed need to stop asking the “why,” question. I love the alternative questions you proposed. Today I’m asking “How is God growing me, and what I am learning through this process?” instead. Wishing you a blessed week!

  • Ifeoma Samuel
    Posted at 07:30h, 29 February Reply

    Hi Caroline, I like this post a lot. It is better to seek what the Lord wants from us instead! Not easy but that’s wisdom.
    Hugs friend.

  • hpsanman
    Posted at 16:56h, 07 August Reply

    (a view from the other side)
    How do you stop wrestling with the why?, when you are emotionally compromised by the trauma caused by the event(s)?
    It is common sense that the Why? won’t be answered, But, emotionally, you’re unable to stop the struggle.
    When you stop asking Why? because of your heartache, disappointment, anger – the relationship with God is distant and prayer is non-existent because given the randomness of your tragedy, like a stray bullet killing a child riding a bike when 1 second later it would have harmlessly passed by, you can no longer really trust God to protect you/others. The promises that you once knew seem cruel and sadistic (Psalm 91). How do you spend to with God when all that is on the table? I’d rather have a Jacob/Lt Dan-like smack-down with God. Let me get it out in all its ugliness. Surely, if God is God, “He” can handle that outburst.
    Your only remaining hope, that some light might break forth from the body of believers, withers on the vine, because no one wants to wrestle with the fact that sometimes, its very difficult to move on. The pain doesn’t go away. Because going there to be with someone, scares their faith to death. And no one understands that, unless they have walked that road and have seen it.
    Then, you are left with what appears to be your only choice: kill your heart or yourself.
    Surely, those who struggle with this are the new lepers.

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