When What I Want & What God Wants Collides

I listened (4 times) to another awesome awesome awesome sermon. I say that about every one I listen to, I know. This is another one by Tim Dilana from Brooklyn Tabernacle. And, these posts don’t do them justice, you must go listen. So good!

Then King David rose to his feet and said: “Hear me, my brothers and my people. I had it in my heart to build a house of rest for the ark of the covenant of the Lord and for the foot stool of our God, and I made preparations for building. But God said to me, ‘You may not build a house for my name, for you are a man of war and have shed blood.’Yet the Lord God of Israel chose me from all my father’s house to be king over Israel forever. For he chose Judah as leader, and in the house of Judah my father’s house, and among my father’s sons he took pleasure in me to make me king over all Israel. And of all my sons (for the Lord has given me many sons) he has chosen Solomon my son to sit on the throne of the kingdom of the Lord over Israel. He said to me, ‘It is Solomon your son who shall build my house and my courts, for I have chosen him to be my son, and I will be his father. I will establish his kingdom forever if he continues strong in keeping my commandments and my rules, as he is today.’ 1 Chronicles 28:2-7

These verses take place at the end of David’s life. David gathered all the decision makers together and humbled himself to share his story of collision between him and God. David shared with the leaders that he had intended and prepared to build a house, but God responded with “no”. The verse that follows after God responded “no” starts with “But God said”. God had different plans for David and told David that instead of him building the house it would be Solomon. So, David intended and prepared, but God led him down a different path. Isn’t no one of the hardest words to hear?  How did David respond to this? In verse 4, David reports to the leaders that God chose Him to be King. He recognizes that He was the chosen one. He doesn’t focus on the closed door, but still recognizes that despite it wasn’t the answer he wanted, God is still good and still blessed him. Instead of complaining, David recounts the blessing of God. 
Can we handle it when God tell us no? How will we react when God says no to us and it looks like He is saying yes to everyone around us? We see others having babies, others get promotions, others get nice new houses, yet He keeps shutting the door to our desires and requests.
This goes all the way back from the first fall of man – Adam and Eve. They were told they could eat from any tree of the garden, except one. The enemy took their attention off the millions of trees they could touch and focused on the one tree they couldn’t touch. The one thing God said no to, overtook the millions of other blessings that God said yes to. We forget what He has done for us, because we focus on the one thing He hasn’t done for us. When in reality, the only reason He says no is because He has better plans for us. 

It’s clear that when we seek God wholeheartedly,  He will close doors. But, as many times as He says no, it won’t even compare to the amount of times He tells us yes. We must have an attitude and perspective like David. When God closes doors, we need to praise Him. What if we asked “why me”? every time God blesses us, instead of only asking “why me”? every time He says no? We shouldn’t blame Him for the bad things, but instead give Him glory for the good things. 

We do not know what lies ahead for us on our infertility journey, but looking back we know that for now, God has already said no. Of course, we hope and pray it’s just a timing issue, but while we wait, we won’t respond with anger, doubt, or “why us?”, but we will continue to praise Him. We will try to maintain having an attitude similar to David’s and recount all the blessings He has said yes too.

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  • foxy
    Posted at 04:08h, 11 November Reply

    hi there,
    I stumbled here from the blogroll and thought I’d say hi. It sounds like you are in the depths of your journey, a place I can remember so clearly. I didn’t have the same faith that you do, nor the challenges of distance with my love.

    Have you read Sadie’s Blog – my little pebbles?
    Sheis the mama to twins after a long struggle with Male factor infertility. The path most definitely doesn’t always look like what we thought it would!

    Take care!

  • Unceasing, uninterrupted Valkyrie
    Posted at 22:27h, 11 November Reply

    WOW! That is soo amazing! When God saus no it is soo difficult. Fortunatly for me right now, well we are in a pretty low place, so I am so happy with all of God’s blessings. Such a good reminder! Thank youso much for your post!

  • expectingtobeexpecting
    Posted at 00:40h, 12 November Reply

    Hi there-

    Hope putting this info here is okay, I figured it’s the best way to make sure you get it 🙂

    My DH’s fertility vitamin regimen came after a vasectomy reversal. He’d had a vasectomy 14 years ago, give or take. His #’s right after were low, which is why went to IVF, off the top of my head his volume was >1 million, 98% morphology (bad shape) and 98% immotility or 2% motility. After we started using the vits he was tested again and it went to 5 million, same morphology and motility.

    He was just tested again because we banked his sperm, just in case, and it was 15 million in volume, 8% motility. For some reason we weren’t able to get the morphology rate. And that is almost a year after the VR.

    So his regimen is: zinc, B 12’s (sub-lingual), multi-vits, magnesium, omega 3’s, D3’s, flax seeds and maca powder in the mornings- we got it all through our local health food stores and made sure the quality/dosage was high. I should also add that he’s vegan ( was vegetarian after surgery, vegan for about a year) but I don’t think that changes much, if anything it just means he has to be more mindful of protein and iron. They say calcium is also important but he gets enough through leafy greens.

    Hope that helps. We’re trying IVF again this January and it is nice to think his sperm #’s are up! Subfertile is 20 mil and under so he’s still technically infertile but I think it also helped him feel better about himself.

  • sadie607
    Posted at 07:54h, 12 November Reply

    hi I got the comment on my blog and see that foxy referenced me above. We did deal with azoo and had our twins using a donor and a medicated IUI. I’m happy to talk more with you and answer any questions you might have. I know exactly how hard and painful all of this is and the questions related to the role of God in all of this.

    Please feel free to contact me.

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