Encouragement for the Woman who Just Received an Infertility Diagnosis
In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week I am sharing our 3rd annual collaborative post that includes input from many inspiring bloggers. Most of these women are from the Moms in the Making blogger group and some are friends I have connected with over the years.
It’s an honor to team up with these ladies on a topic that is so relevant for us all, infertility. The reality is almost every woman assumes when she is ready to start her family it will just happen, right? However, the women throughout this post know otherwise and understand the hurt and frustration that comes along with the challenges in growing a family.
Because women are finding out every day that the journey to becoming a mother will also be met with challenges, we wanted to put a post together with encouragement for the woman who just received a diagnosis of infertility. No matter where you are in your journey we hope this post helps you feel less alone and encourages you in your journey to becoming a mother.
Encouragement for the Woman Who Just Received an Infertility Diagnosis
Jessica | Grace While We Wait – Friend, I’m sorry. I’ve learned throughout this journey that pushing my pain to the side isn’t helpful at all. But I’ve also learned that living by my feelings will never result in victory. I think we have to learn to sit in the tension of what is and what is to come. The truth about your diagnosis is that actually it has no significance. It might feel like a huge mountain starring you straight in the face, but God’s Word says NOTHING is impossible with Him. “Against all odds, when everything seemed hopeless, Abraham believed the promise and expected God to fulfill it.” Romans 4:18. He’ll do the same for you, regardless of what doctors say!
Lauren | Grow My Family – Infertility can feel incredibly overwhelming, but it isn’t something you need to face on your own. Surround yourself with a supportive community- whether it’s a good friend on speed-dial or a local group. If you’re going through treatments, arm yourself with knowledge to ask the right questions & advocate for yourself with your doctor. There can be lots of ups & downs, so pick a few favorite songs, verses, or encouraging phrases to meditate on & encourage yourself when you’re feeling low. Consider finding a great therapist – even before you think you need one. And finally, remember that even on the hardest days, you are seen, you are loved, & no matter what happens – you’re gonna be ok.
Chelsea | Trials Bring Joy – There is hope and it’s okay to feel grief and hope simultaneously. It’s okay to mourn the expectations for your life that you anticipated while never giving up hope that God can do amazing things with infertility ingredients. Do your due diligence. Find the right doctor for you (FertilityIQ!) and PRAY. Pray for wisdom with your circumstances and know that you’re not alone. There are others who have walked the same path as you are on and there’s power in community. Don’t isolate yourself or put up walls to make yourself numb. God is good even when our circumstances are darker and more painful that we could ever imagine. He can redeem this. Lean in sweet sister and know you aren’t alone in your aching.
Anna | To Make a Mommy – I know I didn’t understand it at the time, but God had really big plans for me on my “in”fertility journey. Our losses, our struggle, my monthly weeping when I got my period, our diagnoses, our grief . . . all of this was purposed for many reasons. God led me on an incredible wellness journey that reshaped my happiness and my health. God led me to my two perfect miracle children. And, God led me to blogging about my journey so that I could touch more women. What blessings will your journey bring? What miracles will happen for you and others because of your struggle? What does God want for you? I promise you its something better than you can even imagine.
Angela | While in Waiting – Know that you are not your diagnosis. Infertility doesn’t define you. You are much more than that! God is bigger than any numbers or words that have been spoken over you. Keep your eyes and heart fixed on him and never forget that he is in the miracle working business. He knows your heart and hears you. Rest in him and he will help you know how to move forward.
Jalina | This Side of If – I know there are more questions than there might ever be answers; more frustrations than there might be hope right now. Know that God has gone before you on this. His answers and plan are above any earthly diagnosis. He has already won this battle for your good, and he has made space for grief and lamentation along the way. “Jesus wept” John 11:35.
Melissa | Borderless – Infertility can be ugly, and the enemy will use it to twist what the Father says about you and the promises He has spoken over you. So ready yourself. Dig deep into the word and learn what He says about you and your family. Hide those words in your heart. Listen to podcasts and worship music. Find community that will speak life into you, encourage you, and most of all pray for you! Surround yourself with truth so that when the enemy whispers lies, you can tell them to go!
Lisa | Amateur Nester – Share your story with at least one other person. Finding community will strengthen you and encourage you. You are not alone. Let others come alongside you and help carry this burden.
Elizabeth | Elizabeth Hagan – God places desires in our heart for a reason. If you desire to parent, I believe you will be! It might look different than you imagined. Or you might have to wait longer than you desire. But you will parent, somehow someway! Don’t give up hope. Keep listening to God, and you’ll find your children!
Jessi | Life Abundant – You are beautifully and wonderfully made. God has not forgotten about you or forsaken you. You’re on a journey to greatness and you are not alone. A whole community is here with open arms, ready to walk in the valley with you.
Tiffany | Tiffany Jo Baker – Friend, you are not alone. The God of the hills and valleys is with you each step of the way, just invite Him into the journey with you. Dig deep into the things of God to build your faith and find your support tribe. God will lead you each step of the way. Be open to how He wants to birth your dreams (it may look different than you thought or planned) and whatever you do, don’t quit. “The Lord will fulfill His purpose for you.” Psalm 138:8a
Ashlee | Journey to Baby Cournia – Lean on your faith and God’s unending love for you. Know that you are blessed to have God in your corner. He is always there for you, waiting for you to surrender your will to Him. I spent a lot of time wallowing in doubt and self-pity, feeling as though everything was falling apart. Overtime, I began to realize that I am not defined by my circumstances. I believe this is something every woman needs to realize on their own and in their own time. I know how hard the initial diagnosis can be and the realization that the path to start a family may not be as you planned, but with God on your side and your faith in your corner, you will be armed with the greatest power ever known.
Charis – God gets the final say. It’s easy to go with what you hear and to trust in what you can see and what educated doctors have to say, however, don’t put a period where God puts a comma. Sin entered the world and infertility is a byproduct, but Father’s will for your life is complete healing, so don’t for a second believe that infertility is God’s plan for you. Finally, a diagnosis is a compilation of letters not an identity. You are not infertility. There’s power in your words and what you call yourself. If you’re unsure of what else to call yourself, go to the source of your true identity: the Word and who God says you are.
Sarah – There are more options than ever for couples experiencing infertility. That said, the best way to attack infertility is one day at a time, one step at a time. It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking too far ahead and worrying about “what if’s”. What if I’m not pregnant in six months? What if we can’t afford treatment X, Y, Z? What if we can’t have a biological child? Psalm 119:105 speaks of God’s word being a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. As we remain in relationship with God, his guidance helps us take the next right step and to trust him for the rest.
Lauren | I am Fruitful – You have a brief moment in time to decide how you will respond! This moment can alter your story BIG TIME! Use this moment to equip yourself for success. Stand on God’s Word daily and do not let time pass without relationship with Him. Post scriptures in your car, write who you are and what God says about you on your mirror, fill your podcast playlist with healing-focused sermons, rally the friends you trust and tell them what you’re standing on. Ask them to hold you accountable to it! Unfollow social media accounts that discourage and follow those that encourage. If you think you missed your window… I understand. I thought I missed mine too. I chose fear. But it wasn’t too late for me and it’s not too late for you. Activate your faith and equip yourself for the battle! And trust me, you’re not alone!
And me? My encouragement is to find a faith-based support system. While I don’t think it’s always best to share with everyone, I would encourage you to share with those who can encourage and pray for you. In addition, I want to encourage you to not make infertility your identity and motherhood your idol but instead, pursue your relationship with God more than you pursue a baby. Root yourself to the Word of God and cling to his promises over you and your future family. Lastly, instead of trying to work or strive your way into becoming a mother, surrender your situation over to him! He is faithful!
Our other prior collaborative posts:
PS. Are you look for support on your fertility journey? Come join Moms in the Making.
PPS. Have you picked up a copy of my book? Buy In Due Time, a 60-day devotional for hope + encouragement in the waiting.
PPPS. I created a group on facebook as an extension of my book + blog to discuss anything + everything. Women only! Come join us!