Full of Hope on Mother’s Day
This Sunday marks my 7th Mother’s Day without being a mother.
According to the world, my social media news feeds and chatter among women in the fertility community I should be bitter, hurting and depressed. I should avoid places like church and restaurants. I should be overcome with painful emotions.
But I want to share some good news because none of those things are true for me and as you read this post, I want you to know, they don’t have to be true for you either.
Despite being 7 years into our infertility journey and facing a lot of hurt and loss over the years, I am still full of hope. In fact, my hope has increased and I am more hopeful today than I was this time last year or even in 2012, when we originally started trying to grow our family.
The reason I am so full of hope isn’t because our situation or circumstances have changed. It isn’t because things have gotten easier over the years and it isn’t because we are in denial.
The reason I am full of hope is because I have renewed my mind with truth. Romans 12:2 says, “Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.”
When bitterness, anger, jealousy and disappointment take root often times it’s because we as Christians have failed to renew our mind with the Word of God. The reality is you and I will become what we behold and what we put into our mind. If we behold him and renew our minds with truth then we will look like him and reflect him. But if we behold the things of this world, including our trials, and fill our mind with junk, then guess what? We will look like the world.
Romans 8:5-8 says, “Those who are motivated by the flesh only pursue what benefits themselves. But those who live by the impulses of the Holy Spirit are motivated to pursue spiritual realities. For the mind-set of the flesh is death, but the mind-set controlled by the Spirit finds life and peace. In fact, the mind-set focused on the flesh fights God’s plan and refuses to submit to his direction, because it cannot! For no matter how hard they try, God finds no pleasure with those who are controlled by the flesh.”
If you are motivated only by what you see in front of you, which for you might be your empty arms, then it will lead to death. But if you are motivated by the Spirit and live by the Word? You will find life, peace, hope and joy. Hallelujah.
There are so many more verses I want to share like Matthew 12:34 which says, “For what has been stored up in your hearts will be heard in the overflow of your words!” The pain, hurt, frustration, anger, etc that I read about and hear from women who don’t yet have children is the exact reflection of what is in their heart. Negative words are a reflection of a hard heart and a hard heart is due to a lack of renewing the mind. Do you see how it’s a cycle and everything is tied together?
I have made a choice the past 7 years to focus on the truth and it has not only set me free, just as John 8:32 says, but it has changed me. It has kept my heart soft and has enabled me to speak words of life. It has molded me to exude the love, joy, peace and hope of Christ. And, no matter where you are in your life, you can make that same choice too. You can be free of your pain and disappointment. Doesn’t that excite you?
I want to remind you that when you know what God’s Word says and when you know his promises are true then it doesn’t matter what your circumstances are. It doesn’t matter how long you have been waiting, what the doctors have said, how many negative pregnancy tests you have taken or what diagnosis you have received. None of that matters because nothing in your natural circumstances changes what God has already promised through his Word.
I don’t know about you, but I am not going to let a hallmark holiday steal my hope or joy. Just like I won’t let any of the other 364 days steal my hope or joy either. I’m also not going to let my circumstances, feelings, past or my long wait dictate my emotions. I refuse to live by anything other than what God’s Word says. I refuse to be focused on me because I know my focus should be on HIM!
You too get to make a choice today. You can follow the path the world is laying before you, which is motivated by the flesh and contains a mindset that will leave you discouraged, hopeless and hurting or you can partner up with the Holy Spirit and fix your eyes on your Father and be full of hope, joy, peace and expectation. The choice, as I have said 100 other times, is up to you.
Whether you are a Mom in the Making or a mom, I hope you are encouraged and reminded that you don’t have to spend any of your days hopeless. My prayer is that you join me in pursuing your Father and thanking him for this wonderful day and that you too make a choice to be full of hope today and every day!
PS. I do not want to diminish the pain of anyone who has recently experienced a miscarriage or loss of a mom, sister, child etc. Grieving with hope is healthy and necessary. If you are grieving a loss today, let Father comfort you. If you are crying, let Father wipe your tears. If you are sad, let Father be your joy. But, I pray that no matter how you feel you choose to walk by the Word. Don’t let one day (or any day for that matter) make you bitter and hopeless because even in the middle of grief, you have every reason to have hope.
I encourage you to check out my prior year posts:
Did you see I launched a podcast? A Cup Full of Hope Podcast is now available for you to listen to!
If you are going through infertility, please head over to join the faith-based support group I founded, Moms in the Making!
Have you picked up a copy of my book? Buy In Due Time, a 60-day devotional for hope + encouragement in the waiting.
I created a group on facebook as an extension of my book + blog to discuss anything + everything. Women only! Come join us!