03 Apr Our Fertility Update
I can’t believe how long it has been since I started this blog and although I didn’t plan this when I originally started writing this post, it has been exactly 3 years to the day since we received the hard news from the doctor about both male and female infertility. We have been waiting 1,156 days since we decided we were ready for kids. That is a lot of waiting!
While I used to have medical updates to share, I know lately that is never the case. The blog has turned into more of a faith + health + travel + other blog, rather than a fertility blog. The most obvious reason I don’t talk about fertility is we have no new news, but I decided it was time to give an update and maybe catch some new readers up.
If you haven’t already, you can check out our fertility journey here. You might notice that neither of us have been tested in quite a while and it’s been almost 1.5 years since I posted that we are taking a break from intentionally making conception happen on our own including all charting, timing, and ovulation kits. If you are thinking ”what are you doing to get pregnant?” the answer is nothing, besides the obvious. Yes, we realize there is a tiny window for when conception happens and no we don’t know when that window is.
Why would we take a break? If we aren’t pursuing adoption or fertility treatments, why wouldn’t we at least try to make it happen on our own? We really felt like that is what the Lord has called us to do. Is it really, really, really hard? Yes. Are we tired of waiting? Yes. Do we wish we could do something proactive? Yes. Are we ready for it to be OUR turn? Yes. Do we have a choice? No.
While many people might believe that we are in no rush or it’s less important for us to have babies since we aren’t pursuing treatments, adoption, or making our own efforts, I will tell you without a doubt that it is NOT the case. Being the type A person I am, I would love to pursue SOMETHING instead of just sitting still. Stillness is hard, especially after 3 years. I know treatments and adoption don’t guarantee a baby, but the feeling of being proactive would sure seem nice. So, yes in case you are wondering it is really, really, really hard.
Imagine being in a room full of people eating cake, your favorite cake ever. While everyone eats mass quantities and chows down, you have to sit there and watch. No trying it. No taking a bite. Instead you just cheer them on and encourag them while your mouth salivates. You help bake the cake and serve the pieces, but you aren’t allowed to try it. Now take the significance of a cake compared to a baby and that will give you a picture of what waiting looks like. Do that for 1,156 days and I promise you it will be hard.
Despite the trial of infertility, what I do know is that God’s timing is perfect. We are so thankful we can be at such peace and rest while waiting. Are we MORE than ready to be pregnant? Absolutely. You have no idea. Can I do anything in the natural to make that happen. Yes, we probably could increase the chances, but that is not what God has called to do. So, we are just continuing to wait until we are told otherwise or get that positive test!
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. To be honest, most people don’t understand and I hope by sharing today, more will understand. Jesus often calls us to do crazy and bold things and why He has picked us to go on this wild journey, I have no idea, but I do know I can’t change it, so I mine as well embrace it.
I hope whatever you are waiting for you have a peace while waiting. There is nothing better than letting the Lord carry you through the hard days and knowing you are being obedient to what He has called you to do. Allow Him to fill you with a peace that surpasses ALL understanding while you wait!