The Road Less Traveled
“Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” Robert Frost
Our infertility journey has been on the road less traveled. No matter what journey you are on, you might feel like you are on this road too. Personally, I wish I wasn’t traveling down this road. There has been nothing easy or glamorous about it. It’s been lonely. It’s been difficult and to me this quote is nothing more than just that, a quote, because so far being on this road hasn’t made a difference at all. It’s been a road without answers and it sure hasn’t solved any of our problems. It hasn’t resulted in a pregnancy and it hasn’t changed our circumstances.
Should I take the road more traveled instead? Should I take the normal road? The one that most people suggest?
Those questions pop into my head often. It’s tempting. While not necessarily easy, the road more traveled seems to provide movement forward. Yes, It still comes with a season of waiting. Yes, there is still heartache. Yes, it involves what most people going through infertility know all about: doctor’s appointments, shots, medications, procedures, lots of money, and doctors reports and updates with medical information. It provides feedback and again, sometimes that isn’t good feedback, but even when it’s not good, I ask myself is bad feedback better than no feedback at all?
None of the above sounds fun to me. The shots. The negative pregnancy tests. The canceled cycles. I know it isn’t fun to those who are going through it, but the majority of women who are going through infertility don’t pursue those options because they are fun, but because that is what results in a baby, which is obviously the end result we all desire.
And me and my journey? Silence. Yes, there were appointments at the beginning and there has been the occasional checkup, but that has become less frequent over the years. So, why the road less traveled? Why are we on this road? Why does taking the road less traveled seem so much harder? Why can’t our road be the one that most people travel down? Is it better to sacrifice the more traveled road to take the road we feel the Lord is leading us on?
So many questions. My mind is spinning. I am not sure I have any of the answers.
Although I feel lonely, out of place, and most times don’t have many answers, I do know that God led us down this road. Because of this road, I get questioned and I am given way too much advice with the push to switch roads, but I know that my road has purpose. I want to take the road more traveled, because it seems like the proactive road to take. But, until told otherwise by the Lord, we are going to stick to the road less traveled. It’s not easy. It’s not pretty. But, I am believing at the end of the road there will be answers. There will be reward. There will be celebration and for now, that is what reminds me to keep walking on this road.