25 Apr How to Support Your Friend Going Through Infertility

Today I want to share how you can support a friend (or family member or co-worker or whoever it is) who is going through infertility. I realize if you were to ask someone going through infertility how they would best feel loved and supported as they navigate the journey, the answers would probably range vastly among those going through it. I tell you that because I realize that what I share with you today is how I can best feel supported, but I can’t speak for everyone. With that being said, I think you will find that what I’m about to share will hold true for most, including those facing other trials: singleness, divorce, death, sickness, job loss, etc.

I don’t want this to sound negative, but I’ll just share two honest points from the start that I suggest not to do. The first is that your advice on how to get pregnant is not going to help. I shared why it’s not helpful here. And secondly, suggesting a pill, procedure, diet, medication or oil won’t help either. I touched on that here.

So my take on how you can support a friend going through infertility? The best thing you can do is pray for them, encourage them in truth and let them know you are thinking about them.

It’s that easy? Yes! It’s that easy!

Pray! Do you realize that is much more effective than anything else you can do? Your prayers will always mean the most.

Encourage! Do you know how much hope is infused in my soul every time a friend (or a stranger) sends me a song, a sermon, a testimony or a scripture? I will never get sick of the encouragement, ever! Even a simple “thinking about you today” means the world and can go a long way.

And if you want to help beyond prayer and encouragement yet avoid suggestions or advice then why not ask your friend “how can I best love or support you in this season?” Isn’t that a question that can be applicable to anyone, no matter what the trial is?

I also want to encourage you, even though I definitely don’t have the right to speak to this topic since I have never gone through it, is to recognize anniversaries of miscarriages, just as you would any other loss (death of a spouse, etc).

Before I close, I want to say that if you are reading this and you happen to be one of the friends who has stuck around for our 6+ year journey, can I just personally take time to thank you? Thank you for supporting me and loving me and believing with me. If you are reading this because a friend is currently going through infertility and you want to best support her, I want to say on the behalf of your friend, thank you. Thank you for caring! I promise, there is no need for infertility to be the “elephant in the room.” Instead of making things awkward, just love! Love your friend through encouragement and prayer. And love them by taking a few minutes to ask them “how can I best support you in this season.” I hope this post reassures you just how easy it is to love a friend going through infertility.

If you are going through infertility, what would you say is the way you best feel supported? 

PS. If you are going through infertility, please head over to join a faith-based support group I founded, Moms in the Making!

PPS. Have you picked up a copy of my book? Buy In Due Time, a 60-day devotional for hope + encouragement in the waiting.

PPPS. I created a group on facebook as an extension of my book + blog to discuss anything + everything. Women only! Come join us!

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