To the Woman Hurting on Mother’s Day
I feel like I should share on the topic of Mother’s Day, but to be honest this post has completely stumped me. What I really want to do is just re-share last year’s post where I talked about celebrating victory in the middle of pain. It seems as though that is where my heart is again this year. But, a few other thoughts ended up coming to mind, so we will see if I can compile my thoughts and I hope at least a part of it will make sense.
There are so many emotions that come with Mother’s Day. Because I am so involved in the world of infertility it’s easy to get fixated on the build up that leads up to this day (clearly why I am writing a post on the topic). I’ll be honest it’s hard for me to find balance between realizing it’s just another day versus knowing so many women who desire to be moms are hurting. While I want to love and support those who are still waiting, I also deeply desire to celebrate those around me who are moms: my mom, mother-in-law, sister-in-laws, and friends.
It’s easy for me to forget that the spectrum of scenarios that cause pain on Mother’s Day is so much broader than what is always staring me in the face, infertility. The truth is this day affects way more than 1 in 8 people. It’s not just about infertility, but so much more. What about the daughter who is grieving her first Mother’s Day without her mom? What about the wife and mom who is spending her first Mother’s day without her spouse due to loss or divorce? Or maybe it’s the opposite and the husband is missing his bride, the mother of his children? And, the mom who is going through Mother’s day without her firstborn son? This one hits a little closer to home for me because of my sister in law.
It doesn’t all have to be about loss either. Grief can come in many facets and avenues. There are so many estranged families including mothers distanced from their own children. The list goes on and on.
I’ll be honest. I am not really sure what to say to all of this, besides encouraging you that no matter what you are going through you are not alone. There are others, even if they are silent about it, who are also grieving. This hit close to home as this past Sunday at church our pastor asked all of those who were feeling sadness, depression, despair, etc to come forward to the altar. I never got a full look of how many people were up there with me, but from the corner of my eye, I can tell you it was the majority of the congregation. It really opened my eyes to how many in this world need a touch from our Heavenly Father because of difficult circumstances they might be facing.
You might be someone who wishes Mother’s Day is a day could avoid because you are overwhelmed with grief, sadness, and despair. But, Jesus sees your pain. He knows your tears. He sees and knows your hearts desire and wants to comfort you through it all. He has not forgotten you nor is He surprised by the pain you are facing.
This day doesn’t have to be the worst day of the year for you, unless of course you let it. Trust me, this isn’t how I wanted this day to be. Not empty, yet again for the 5th year in a row. Not like this. Not for me. Not for my sister-in-law. Not for all my friends who are waiting. But, I’m not going to let my unfulfilled desire ruin my day. It won’t prevent me from celebrating others, nor will it stop me from experiencing the fullness of joy that the Lord has blessed me while waiting to become a mom.
I hope you find the strength from Christ to strive through this Mother’s Day. I hope you know that you are allowed to cry, but it’s also important that you don’t stay filled with tears. God is for you and when He is for you, nothing and no one can be against you, including the pain you might be feeling this Mother’s Day. May His love surround you today and always.