Why Telling People to “Just Adopt” Isn’t Helpful……

Why Telling People Going Through Infertility to “Just Adopt” Isn’t Helpful……

1 – Adoption Doesn’t Just Happen

Adoption isn’t a quick fix that just happens. It is an extensive, complex process that takes time, counsel, resources and money.

2 – Adoption is Not a Cure For Infertility

For couples struggling to conceive, adoption is not a bandaid or cure that all of a sudden covers up the pain from infertility.

3 – Adoption Should Never Be Plan B

Adoption should never be Plan B because Plan A, which was trying for biological children, didn’t work out. An adopted child is not a replacement for a biological child
and should not be an after thought.

4 – Adoption Is a Calling

Adoption is a calling from God – not something a couple pursues because of a suggestion someone made to just adopt.

5 – Adoption Comes With Challenges

To suggest to a couple to just adopt, is to overlook that adoption is not straightforward and easy – it comes with its own set of challenges that couples must be aware of.

6 – Adoption is a Personal Decision

While some couples will be led to pursue adoption, not every couple will. Adoption is not a one-size-fits-all answer, it’s a personal decision.

7 – In Summary…

Couples who are trying to grow their family are well aware that adoption is an option. Telling a couple to “just adopt” doesn’t help, it actually hurts. Couples don’t need suggestions, they need support.

8 – Some Alternative Phrases We Suggest…

  • I am sorry you are going through this…
  • I am thinking about you…
  • What can I do to best support you?
  • I am praying for you…
  • I am here to listen if you need to talk…

I would also like to say this… I am pro-adoption! While it’s not for every couple who is a part of our ministry, it has been for many. We consider it an honor to come alongside women who are on the adoption journey and we love celebrating the miracle of life that comes through the gift of adoption!

 

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