Would You Rather?

Have you ever played “Would You Rather?” My friends and I used to play this game a lot in college, but it comes up less frequently now. If I am remembering correctly, one of my roommates even had a book full with questions similar to a few of these:

  • Would you rather fart blue smoke or perspire green sweat?
  • Would you rather use eye drops made of vinegar or toilet paper made from sandpaper?
  • Would you rather never be able to speak again or always have to say everything that is on your mind?
  • Would you rather wear a snow suit in the desert or be naked in Antarctica?

I know, ridiculous right? When the question has come up more recently between Colby and myself they are usually a little more normal, like “Would you rather always feel hungry or always feel full?” or “Would you rather be a flight attendant or work on a cruise ship?”

“Would you rather travel the world or be at home with your babies?” Some of the above questions might bring hesitation and make me think for a few seconds, but this question brings no hesitation as my immediate answer is BABIES. Of course, it is babies.

If you know anything about me, you know I love to travel. Love it. But, I can’t tell you how many comments I get every time we go somewhere especially from my mom-friends, “I would love to switch places with you” or “I am so jealous, can I go instead?” It takes everything within me to hold back from letting them know I want to switch places with them. I would much rather be at home with babies than exploring the world. 

Don’t get me wrong. Their comments don’t offend me. I know they don’t mean it in a bad way, but after years of receiving these comments it has really made me think on the situation. What happens when we don’t get the answer we want? What happens when it’s not just a silly question game, but you are given two options and you don’t get to pick the answer, but it is given to you instead? 

It’s not just our situation, but any and every situation that people could agree they wanted to trade places with someone else. I wish I could trade shoes with the 90% of my friends who do have kids. And, while I am so extremely thankful for all the traveling we get to do, I wish we weren’t traveling anymore because we were too busy at home with kids.

Just because Colby and I are choosing to make the most of our situation does not lessen the desire at all for parenthood. I wish our New Zealand trip in 2012 was our last before kids, as initially planned. I wish that were the case so badly, but since it isn’t, we will forcefully go with option 2 of our “would you rather?” as we make the most of our marriage and enjoy our time together by traveling the world.

What are your answers to some of the “Would you rather?” questions above? Is there something that you would rather be doing with your life, but are also waiting on it to happen?

Would You Rather

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  • Cheryl
    Posted at 07:21h, 15 April Reply

    Oh, my word! I remember this game, and my little family and I still play it from time to time! It can be so hilarious…we have been known to come up with some very bizarre, absurd “would you rathers”!! But, on a more serious note, I know you would rather be home with your babies, sweet friend, and oh, I surely hope it won’t be long until you ARE right where you long to be. I am praying often for you. Keep believing, and never give up hope! God bless you and Colby and give you the desires of your hearts!

  • Rebecca
    Posted at 08:33h, 15 April Reply

    When we look on the outside of people’s lives we often get a wrong view of what is really going on. I wish you many trips in the future with lots of babies !!!

  • Rebecca Jo
    Posted at 08:42h, 15 April Reply

    I so get this. I get so much through the years the comments that since I dont have kids, it lets me devote so much more time to youth ministry to kids that need time & attention… & while I LOVE it – would I have rather chosen something different? … mmm.. you get it.

    Oh gosh – those Would You Rather questions… I just sit & ponder wayyyyy too hard for the game 🙂 haha

  • Elena
    Posted at 08:51h, 15 April Reply

    Absolutely agree with you!! We make the most of life & our situation, but we desire for more, or we’d give up something (like travel) to have that desire in a heartbeat! So hard sometimes.

  • Lily
    Posted at 08:55h, 15 April Reply

    Couldn’t have put it better! Keep believing and don’t give up…one day we will be mommas. I hope it’s soon! 🙂

  • Betsy Hermam
    Posted at 09:05h, 15 April Reply

    I would rather be home with babies! Great post, I definitely relate.

  • Charity Bish
    Posted at 09:58h, 15 April Reply

    I can totally relate to this. There was nothing I wanted more than to be with my boys. I used to travel tons for photography work and while I loved it I imagined a differently life for myself. I would have given it all up in a heartbeat to be where I am now.

  • Belinda
    Posted at 10:10h, 15 April Reply

    Amen, Caroline! I get it too.

    We keep traveling the world making the most of the time we have now while we are young and healthy to keep exploring, while waiting for the desires of our heart to be met.

  • Amie
    Posted at 10:32h, 15 April Reply

    I can honestly say that during the 4 years we were TTC with no luck I couldn’t understand why we given all of this ‘free’ time when we just wanted kids! BUT looking back I can clearly see how the Lord was working on our relationship because he knew it would need to be really strong when the baby did come along 🙂 So although I would have rather had a baby than time to do anything we wanted, it was just the way it needed to be.

  • Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven Not Harvard
    Posted at 10:33h, 15 April Reply

    Oh, yes, we always want the things we don’t have. I have straight hair, I wish it were curly. My curly-haired friends jealously eye my perfectly straight hair. We just don’t realize what blessings we have. You are blessed by the travel adventures you get to have, even if you would rather be fussing over babies. And your friends are so blessed to have those babies. I’ve been (sometimes still am) the jealous woman wishing for the baby another takes for granted. No advice, just sitting with you in spirit. And enjoying watching you take on the world.

  • Beka
    Posted at 11:14h, 15 April Reply

    This is so good, friend!

    This isn’t serious but Dave plays this game with me and he asks me the most awful “would you rather questions”. I often tell him neither and he says that isn’t an option! ha!

    I’m glad you are making the most of your situation while you are waiting.

    I’m glad you don’t get offended at people asking that or saying they are jealous of you. I think something God has taught me over the last couple of years is to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. It has been awkward for me when people tell me they are jealous that we travel. I honestly don’t always know what to say and I try to be nice but sometimes I just don’t reply. I’m guilty of being jealous too so I know the struggle but I really think God wants us to just love and support each other no matter what stage we are in life.

  • Katelyn Ryan
    Posted at 11:22h, 15 April Reply

    i love playing this game! and girl, great words.


  • Carissa Maul
    Posted at 11:24h, 15 April Reply

    I have NEVER played Would You Rather!! This was a really funny one and I’d totally sweat green before I farted blue! And I totally agree when I have friends who say they wish they could sleep in on a Saturday and I think, GOSH I wish I had a child prying my eyes open to wake up! God put these desires on your heart and he’s given you a voice to bring awareness to this struggle. So thankful for you!

  • Justine Y @ Little Dove
    Posted at 13:20h, 15 April Reply

    This is so true. It’s so easy to have a “grass is always greener” mentality, but it’s so important to remember that everyone hopes and wishes for something else, and probably what we’re already blessed to have ourselves! I just love your perspective on things Caroline.

  • Kari
    Posted at 13:20h, 15 April Reply

    We still play that game. I wish it didn’t always have to be one or the other. I’d love to have kids AND travel!

  • Crystal
    Posted at 14:07h, 15 April Reply

    Great perspective sweet friend. I get this so much. We, too struggle with infertility. And we just recently lost a pregnancy after another 1.5 years of trying. Putting our faith in God’s plan for our life.

  • Becky Young
    Posted at 14:28h, 15 April Reply

    Mmmm yes, I get this. We aaaaalways get comments like “you guys have the coolest life.” We’ve had epic vacations through the years, but they have come at a very high price.

  • Jaclyn
    Posted at 16:41h, 15 April Reply

    Would you rather marry the wrong person or be single until who knows when??? Or…be married to the right person 5 years ago and not finish my degree or have the career experience I’ve had so far and counting??? And my favorite: be kicked out of mom and dad’s house forever ago and not have the financial stability I’ve achieved as a young adult? This has made me think of how unthankful ive been. What a great post!!! One day I’ll travel like you (I hope?)

  • Mihaela Echols
    Posted at 17:03h, 15 April Reply

    Would you rather go with the flow of life or have a bad attitude about it! Great points!

  • Megan
    Posted at 17:11h, 15 April Reply

    Thanks so much for being so open! Your faith is amazing and I am excited to see what happens!

  • Gwen
    Posted at 19:41h, 15 April Reply

    “You were created for a day such as this. ” A blogger posted this and I got sad. I have a brain injury of eight long years. My mom wept at first. I was so smart. I was so active. Walking around a target overstimulates my brain. I used to not think I’d always feel like this. Cry for no reason. Get scared. Have seizures. Lose my job. Not get to drive. Lose friends. Church creates such overload my body suffers. Head. Right leg. I cry. But in all this I want to be the Light of Christ to others. And this year im writing of Journey of Joy. God did know the path of my life. And He knew I’d be injured. My career cut short. My husband having many unusual medical issues yet He’s to bring us peace and I am to be a light of Christ not despite. Because of the injury? No. Because I have Savior! Who loves me. He is a good Shepherd. I will cry but for the deepest deepest hurt you could ever imagine crying. Several times a day. Or more. But I was told, it is your injury. Try to remember, the crying stops at some point. So were you created for such a time as this? Oh yes. He make th no mistakes. God will show each of us the path of life today until our old age. God WILL give you the desires of your heart. Look at it any way you want. He has given you the desire so it shall come to pass. Or some people as trusting find their desires change. But I’d say while earnestly in Gods Word and prayer, it does not seem that He has changed your desire. And that’s why I pray. For you. Someone else dear to me. But also….in my brain injured state of soooo many losses I want to first live for Jesus and tell others of His Salvation. Be salt. Be light. In bathrooms. In a Mc Donald’s stopping for a bathroom break–as I traveled up and down the state for appointments. Then dry so I share by singing praises when my helpers are here. Becoming more like Christ This is my purpose. And what we both were created for…in just a time as this???

  • Brianna
    Posted at 23:28h, 15 April Reply

    Caroline it’s amazing how we tend to always think someone else has it better. I k ow I am so guilty of this too. Bravo on living despite waiting for your precious babies. ((Hugs))

  • Patricia
    Posted at 06:16h, 16 April Reply

    My prayer for you is the travel and adventuring continues, but with your precious babies in tow!!

  • Erica
    Posted at 13:08h, 16 April Reply

    Yes! Articulated so well!

  • Lindsey
    Posted at 14:19h, 16 April Reply

    I don’t have kids yet and have not yet tried. But it is always a fear that I won’t be able to. So I can relate even though I am not full yin your shoes. Wishing you the best. I know you will make an amazing mom one day!

  • Dia
    Posted at 16:49h, 16 April Reply

    Me and my friends play this game from time to time but it’s funny how as you get older the questions change from “Would you rather never have pizza or hamburgers again?” To more intense stuff. I don’t have or want children but I know how these questions can hit you like a ton of bricks. For me the question was about my parents and it brought up all this stuff about my dad. I hope you get what you want. <3

  • Kristy
    Posted at 06:31h, 17 April Reply

    I hear you loud and clear. The questions don’t end even after you are blessed with a little on. I’d MUCH rather stay at home with our littles but from a financial standpoint (Thanks student loans) it’s just not a possibility. It is hard to not be envious of those who get to do this. However, I know God has a purpose for my teaching career and I try to keep that in perspective.

  • Shane Prather
    Posted at 13:16h, 17 April Reply

    Haha I love these questions! I do a travel version of the game often on my blog 🙂

  • Andrea
    Posted at 15:53h, 17 April Reply

    I can’t think of any – my “rather” is to be where I am, knowing that God is working out ALL things for my good 🙂

  • Rhonda Swan
    Posted at 22:08h, 17 April Reply

    Really interesting here. I think that many people are asking themselves this very question. I know I did. I walked away from the corporate world because I would rather be home raising my child. There are so many choice I made like that. Keep up the great work here and live unstoppable!

  • ellesees.net
    Posted at 04:36h, 18 April Reply

    i absolutely feel the same way. i thought for sure i’d have 4 or 5 kids and it just never turned out that way.

  • Amanda
    Posted at 08:38h, 18 April Reply

    I am sure this is very hard, Caroline. It’s easy to look at someone’s life from the outside and only see something we want. I am guilty of this! My current struggle is “rather” being at home with R instead of having to work. But I know that being at home is hard too. I will continue to pray for peace and comfort for you. There are so many pregnancy announcements and gender reveals and I’m sure it is very difficult to see those when you are still waiting.

  • Tara
    Posted at 09:29h, 18 April Reply

    Traveling the world is a great way to wait. I wish we had had that opportunity while waiting. We did get the opportunity when we went to China to get our baby boy. It was an amazing experience traveling, plus we got the greatest son ever!

  • Allison
    Posted at 10:08h, 18 April Reply

    I would so rather be home with babies! My husband and I feel the same way, we are so grateful for the ability to travel and see the world but we would trade every trip for a noisy chaotic house full of kids! Thank you for posting this. Heading into our next big trip I have been anxious with the feeling that people will judge what we are able to do but if they only knew the full story things might not seem so fantastic.

  • Keri Underwood
    Posted at 08:55h, 19 April Reply

    Your take on this game reminds me of the phrase “the grass is always greener on the other side”. I think you SHOULD tell your friends, “I would rather be home with babies”. Maybe that will wake them up a bit. Sometimes we need to take a step back and appreciate the things we DO have. It’s so easy to wish we have what others have. To wish “if I just had more money” or “if I could just be that fit” or “if I could just meet THE ONE”…the point is God has us all right where we need to be. He’s in control and there’s a reason we are who we are, where we are, etc. I always joke that God didn’t give me the body of a swimsuit model because He knew I’d flaunt it all the time! It’s so true though…if I had the body I’d totally be a different person!!! Thank God He made us each exactly the way we are. He knows why and it’s our job to just trust!

  • Winona
    Posted at 08:45h, 20 April Reply

    I can totally relate to this. I had children at an early age and had to put off my education and career. I am a stay at home mom now. I had imagined my life differently at times but I wouldn’t trade it for the world! God leads you down paths that you would have never expected but there is always a reason. Although we may not understand them now , one day we will.

  • Jed
    Posted at 16:23h, 21 April Reply

    Thanks Caroline. I love your honesty. Our blended family has plenty of unique challenges and I could provide a ton of answers to the “would you rather” question. We too are making the best of our circumstances. But the bottom line is that our family–in spite of our challenges–truly is blessed. Thank you for the reminder, and know that we are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

  • Kelli {A Deeper Joy}
    Posted at 11:06h, 26 April Reply

    The kids love playing that game. I find out lots of info about them when we do :-p I hear ya, Caroline. Anytime I hear someone complain about having a baby, I cringe and wish I got to experience what they are.

  • Laura | Making Baby Provence
    Posted at 00:12h, 15 May Reply

    I often hear, “Oh, it must be nice to get to sleep in on Saturdays.” Makes me giggle. I pray that you soon will be taking trips with babies and no longer only getting to fulfill one desire. *Hugs*

  • Pauline
    Posted at 22:48h, 10 July Reply

    I’m trying to decide would I rather try for pregnancy 18 or stop trying to have a second child and restore my mind body and spirit so I can pour my energy into other pursuits.

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