Thankful for What I Have Learned
I never thought we would be on this journey, but through what I have learned, I wouldn’t change a thing. I know there is a purpose to this trial. I talk a lot about being thankful and that is one of the first words that comes to mind when I think of our fertility journey. Today I wanted to share everything I have learned. The list is much more extensive than this so hopefully I will get to share more at a later day.
Words. It’s amazing how many people ask me when we will have kids. My answer always varies, but despite what it is, I always receive a response back. They range from “just go on vacation”, “just relax”, or “just adopt”. We have heard them all. They are things people think will make us feel better, but really, they just have no idea. But, how many times have I been that person? How many times have I said to someone, “Oh, you have been dating for 4 years, when do you think you will get engaged”. When maybe, just maybe, I have NO idea what the recipient of that question is going through. Maybe they have cancer, maybe they just lost a child, or maybe they are in a good place. This journey has taught me how to be more compassionate. It’s taught me to hold my tongue. It has taught me to mind my own business and it’s definitely taught me to be careful of my words.
True friends. Since going through this journey, I’ve really realized who my true friends are. Those who have joined us in prayer. Those who have continued to reach out and let me know they are thinking of me. Those who have surprised me with cards or thoughtful gifts in the mail. Those who have not just stood aside and let us walk alone, but have joined us and walked with us. Those who have let me know they are constantly thinking about us and can’t wait to hear the good news that we are expecting. Those who are devoted to reading our blog and commenting. Those who are standing in agreement that we will be joyful parents of many children.
New friendships. I have made so many new friends through this journey, many from the blog world; girls I never would have come across if I was on a different path. I’m thankful for my friends from my Moms in the Making Group. There is something about sitting in a room with people who are going through the same thing – a bond is formed immediately and for that I’m grateful.
Marriage. Colby and I have grown so much closer. It’s during these time you either grow apart or together. Our relationship has definitely been consistent of the latter. We have shared our hearts, cried together, and laughed together. Our prayer life has increased tremendously. He has been my number one supporter and encourager.
Waiting. I think we will always be in a period of waiting. I waited to find the right guy to marry and then waited to get engaged, then married, and now we are waiting to have a baby. But, it doesn’t end here. I’m sure we will be waiting anxiously for our baby to take their first step, and lose their first tooth. Some waiting periods might be harder than others, but if it’s not one stage of life, it’s another. I’m so thankful for the wait as it causes us to surrender everything we desire and give it 100% to Christ.
Health.Our awareness of our health has done a 180. I’m so grateful for this journey because I have learned so much about eating right, the environment and it’s effects, and getting proper nutrition and exercise. I’m so thankful that I’m now aware of how our diet and exercise make a huge impact on our health.
God’s Will. It’s evident that my plans are way different than God’s plans. It’s amazing that in some aspects I am STILL learning. I remember my parents moving me my junior year of High school and I kicked and screamed not wanting to go, despite the fact that it ended up being one of the best things for me. I remember thinking I was going to marry one person, only for them to break my heart and marry someone a million times better for me. I know our journey now is the same. We would have had two kids by now if it were up to us, yet we are still waiting to have one. God’s plans are always so much better than ours.
Blessings. I am so blessed. I don’t want to spend time grieving something I don’t have, when I am so thankful for everything I do have. I’m so grateful to Jesus for all that He has blessed me with.
How good God is. Jesus is so good. He has just spoiled us on this journey. He consistently shows us His love. He reminds us that He has complete control. He has told us that He will bring us children in His perfect timing. Despite my brokenness, He just pours out His never ending love. He never leaves or forsakes us and He has our best in mind.
Don’t let your trial be wasted. Focus on your blessings and allow your suffering to refine you to become more like Jesus while you are waiting for your breakthrough.