Grace for Grieving

Since meeting my airport angel which then led to us switching churches, we regularly attend a bi-monthly healing prayer service. We are so grateful we belong to a church who is so willing to believe and pray with us. Healing prayer is now what I look forward to the most when making weekend plans.

With March being the one year anniversary of Kai’s passing it has been a very tough month emotionally. The tears have been flowing. Lots of memories of those two weeks. Lots of grieving. But, a word I received from one of the guys on the prayer team was so sweet. All he told me was, “It is okay that you are still grieving.” I can’t tell you how much those words meant to me. Jesus knew exactly what I needed to hear and it made me realize there is grace for grieving.

The reality of our situation is we will never, ever forget what happened with Kai. We will always miss him, a lot. There are days where I don’t know if the pain will ever lessen, but I trust in Jesus that it will. I believe that our heartaches will soon be turned into sweet memories of him.

I wanted to pass on the message, because I assume I’m not the only one who needed to hear it. We live in such a culture that we are always supposed to have a smile on our face. People automatically assume we should feel ‘all better’ within a certain time frame. But, that is not true. Whatever you are going through, don’t feel like you have to rush through the grieving process. Give yourself time. Let the Lord heal your heart and your mind. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you want to. But, don’t rush what the Lord wants to do in the process.

We will all face situations that we need to grieve. It might be a loss of someone you love dearly, a miscarriage, a broken relationship, etc, but whatever it its there is no textbook time that your heart will heal. Know that it is okay to grieve! There is grace for grieving! Whether it’s been one day since you have dealt with a tragedy or one year, continue to take your grief to Jesus. He will carry you through!

Grace for Grieving

  • Elena
    Posted at 07:04h, 27 March Reply

    Love and hugs and strength to you sweet friend!

  • Sheryl
    Posted at 07:23h, 27 March Reply

    Oh yes, there is grace in grieving. Meaning making does occur – simply in his time.

  • Coalescedreverie
    Posted at 08:05h, 27 March Reply


    I completely agree. We heal “in due time”

  • Kara
    Posted at 09:39h, 27 March Reply

    hugs! praying for you this weekend! xoxo

  • Trena Quesenberry
    Posted at 10:07h, 27 March Reply

    I’m so sorry for your loss. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. I pray God gives you the peace that passes all understanding. *Hugs* Visiting from Simple Moments Stick

  • Rebecca Jo
    Posted at 10:36h, 27 March Reply

    I have a loss in my life that is 10 years old & I still get hit so violently with grief, its like someone hits me in the gut. Its when I need Jesus the most… even after all the time.

  • Cheryl Smith
    Posted at 10:49h, 27 March Reply

    Oh, Caroline! I am so thankful this person was obedient to the Holy Spirit and that he spoke these words to you. God always knows exactly what we need to hear and when it will minister to us the most. It is just now that you are even in a position to really, truly absorb what has hit your life with such painful devastation, and though this one year anniversary marked a certain turning point in your mourning process, the grief is still a presence that will remain. I am so thankful God deals with us on an individual basis, and He will always be there to walk with us and comfort us, and NEVER push us to go any faster than we are able. My heart goes out to you in so many ways, and I can only trust Jesus to hold you extra-close during these difficult days. Sending you big hugs and much love!

  • Kelly @ Southern Komfort Blog
    Posted at 12:44h, 27 March Reply

    Yesss!! I feel like people tend to put a time frame on grieving and healing, and anything past that time frame is just odd, and that’s not fair. So many hugs for you right now!

  • Erika B.
    Posted at 12:47h, 27 March Reply

    This is SO good. I hate that some Christians respond to grieving people with some variation on ‘if you had enough faith, you would know that God has a plan/is with you/is in control and therefore you shouldn’t be sad’…it is just SO not true and not remotely biblical!!! People that give you the room and time to grieve and lament and weep with you…those are some priceless friends.

  • Jaclyn
    Posted at 20:43h, 27 March Reply

    As long as we are on this earth we will have sorrow, pain, disappointment, etc. – just like what your blog from the other day. We are human. We are flesh. We aren’t God – and yet in His sovereignty He sees and feels your pain. I heard something in these past few months that struck me, “Jesus was 100% God and 100% man and yet He still chose to come to earth and die for us.” If anyone knows, He knows!!! His death on the cross separated Him from His father – can you imagine how God felt as well? But for the joy set before Him He endured the cross!!!! And one day that hope of being reunited with Kai will be complete when we see him in heaven. Can’t wait to meet him!!! Hugs, sweet friend!!!

  • Tiffany | A Touch of Grace
    Posted at 00:04h, 28 March Reply

    Thank you for sharing this Caroline. When my brother passed away we struggled for a long time. My parents still struggle and it will be 3 years next month. It’s okay to grieve. That means we truly loved.
    Big hugs my dear!

  • Courtney Stewart
    Posted at 09:39h, 28 March Reply

    Your words are so true. I lost my dad to a stroke 6 years ago in September. There’s still times I grieve especially on his birthday and his passing or special things I wish he could be at. I have never though time has made it easier I’ve just learned how to cope through the loss. Thank you for sharing your heart and speaking to mine.

  • Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom
    Posted at 11:20h, 28 March Reply

    Thank you for sharing this Caroline. As I approach the 1 year anniversary of my grandmother’s death, my heart aches. I miss her so much and my memories of her are so great… so strong. At times the memories make me smile but often it just aches so much.

    Big hugs and prayers to you my friend.

  • Isabelle
    Posted at 14:45h, 28 March Reply

    I agree 100% with everything you said. Big hugs to you, girl.

  • jennifer prod
    Posted at 17:54h, 28 March Reply

    hugs sweet girl <3

  • Christine
    Posted at 20:42h, 28 March Reply

    I am so sorry for your loss. You deserve to grieve for as long as you need to. My heart goes out to you.

  • Jennifer T.
    Posted at 09:31h, 29 March Reply

    I am so sorry about Kai and I’m so glad that person made you feel okay about grieving him. This is so true! People just don’t get over things and move on when others may think they should. I had a family member once tell me to just “get over it.” …So easy for her to say! Thinking of you and praying you feel the love of your Savior and those around you especially during the hard times. Sending you a big hug! xoxoxo

    Posted at 06:13h, 01 April Reply

    i am so sorry for your loss. as someone who just lost who her father 3 weeks ago to cancer, this post hit home. i feel like people want me tone over it already. glad to know it’s ok.

  • Lisa
    Posted at 21:41h, 04 April Reply

    This is so very true. Grief is a process that doesn’t really have a clear “finish line.” So glad have surrounded yourself with people who let you grieve in your own time.

  • Letetia Mullenix
    Posted at 19:43h, 07 April Reply

    I’ve been here so many times. We try to be strong, and joyful, and faith-filled – but all along we’re torn up inside. Having someone simply say to us “It’s okay to feel how you feel”, helps us to release. Even though we should know, and would offer the same advice to others, we’re just too hard on ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing your journey! God bless, Letetia

  • Laura @ Making Baby Provence
    Posted at 14:02h, 14 April Reply

    Perfect timing. I needed to hear that today. You put it so well. I hope Jesus is blessing you with a month of less tears, though. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Love you, girl!

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