Redirecting Your Thoughts

When we first received the initial tests results from the doctor we were in shock. We never thought it would take a miracle for us to have a baby. Just as many couples do, we thought we would have kids as soon as we wanted them. Soon for us meant just a few months after getting married. I still remember the phone call with the initial test results just like it was yesterday. I was overcome with self-pity. I balled my eyes out and didn’t want to do anything besides roll into a ball and lie in bed. Infertility is not the only journey that can cause such feelings; it could be the loss of a job, a bad marriage, or a recent diagnosis. However, after over a year and a half on this journey I have learned that we can not let negative thoughts control us.

It seems that every day when we wake up we have a choice. We can choose to have negative thoughts or redirect our thoughts into positive thinking. Those initial thoughts end up directing the rest of our day. And, it doesn’t stop at our thoughts. Because from our thoughts flow our words and from our words flow our actions.

When we redirect our thoughts from our doubts and discouragement to a positive attitude, it not only affects our day, but it impacts us emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I believe it effects others we come in contact with as well. And soon, when we are holding our precious babies and they grow up to be little kids, I have no doubt that our positive attitudes and thinking will change them to become better people too. They will learn by example, and we want our kids to have the best outlook on every circumstance.

All during the day we have this choice of redirecting our thoughts. When our plane gets delayed, instead of thinking negatively, why not decide it’s an opportunity to stay positive? What about that co-worker who continually to gets under your skin? Is it going to help to think negatively? Or even worse, speak negatively? Is that going to influence anyone to be a better person? What about when we don’t get what we want? Or on a more personal note, when we receive another negative pregnancy test or bad report from the doctor? Sure, it’s ok to be sad. But having a “poor me” attitude sure won’t get you anywhere.

Be proactive. Not reactive. Don’t let your feelings rise up into self-pity. Instead choose to focus on the blessings of your current situation. Don’t live in fear. Don’t let negative situations rub off on you. Take charge. Start to think positively. Practice it. Not just in the little things, but in the big things too.

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:2

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  • Emily
    Posted at 11:26h, 22 August Reply

    It really is all about making it a habit. I think sometimes, if something doesn’t go our way and we want to feel sad about it, we should also allow ourselves to feel that feeling, but then move on from it and not let it rule our day or our life. It doesn’t mean we have to ignore the feelings or deny that something crappy happened. It’s just like you said, at the end of the day it’s nothing in comparison to ALL the blessings we do have. We take so much for granted, because we just get used to receiving all those blessings. Being grateful when you can’t have what you want is such a powerful way to turn it around.

  • Catwoman73
    Posted at 11:42h, 22 August Reply

    Stopping by from ICLW- I so admire your positive attitude. That doesn’t come naturally to me- I tend to be more of an ‘expect the worst, but hope for the best’ kind of person. But I have found that acknowledging all that I have to be grateful for, and trying to be more present in my life has shifted my attitude a great deal. Keep believing, and best of luck to you!

  • Marianne
    Posted at 12:06h, 22 August Reply

    What a great reminder for all of us.

  • Kasey Attianese
    Posted at 12:37h, 22 August Reply

    What a great post Caroline! I really need to work harder on being proactive instead of reactive and stopping the negative thinking. Keeping a positive attitude is so important in this journey 🙂

  • Jessica Elyse @ Memoirs of a Mommy
    Posted at 13:30h, 22 August Reply

    How encouraging. Yes, we have a choice. We can let our pity-parties dictate our day…week…month…year, or we can choose to see where God is moving. We might not like it ever step of the way, but we can learn from it and look to see the positive results of whatever we are going through. Love you friend!

  • Suzanne
    Posted at 13:45h, 22 August Reply

    This world would truly be a better place if more people would adopt this positive attitude. I often find my self in a “poor me” funk and then look around and realize how blessed I really am in so many ways. Thank you for posting this today. xo

  • simply christina
    Posted at 14:34h, 22 August Reply

    What a positive post! I wish more bloggers had that attitude!

  • Gypsy Mama
    Posted at 15:20h, 22 August Reply

    I totally agree, it is so important to have a positive attitude. It’s important to remind ourselves everyday how blessed we truly are.

    Great post 🙂

  • Amie
    Posted at 15:22h, 22 August Reply

    I try to remind myself of this every day but it just doesn’t always work out. It seems like every day I hear of someone else expecting and it just tugs at my heart. Thank you for this post today, I needed it 🙂

  • Anonymous
    Posted at 17:38h, 22 August Reply

    What a great reminder! It is definitely hard to stay positive when things don’t go our way, but turning my focus to the Lord & trying to see the bigger picture has always helped me. Great post!

  • Rhonda
    Posted at 18:56h, 22 August Reply

    “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

  • Megan
    Posted at 22:25h, 22 August Reply

    Great post! Your thoughts really have a HUGE impact on your outlook on life. In the last year, I’ve tried to always remember to thank God, even for the little things that we take for granted. It helps to have a more positive outlook even when there’s bad things going on.

  • Lindsey Crouch
    Posted at 23:15h, 22 August Reply

    Love this. Thank you for the reminder to change our thinking. It makes a HUGE difference! Praying for you!

  • Hoping to be Hope's mama.
    Posted at 23:16h, 22 August Reply

    Thank you so much for such sage words. I am working hard to get out of the self-pity mode that I wallowed in for the last 10 months and you are so right about the power of positive thinking. Sometimes it works, sometimes I fall flat on my face. However, I am glad that I am letting go and letting God.

  • Bridget Pitney
    Posted at 00:29h, 23 August Reply

    I love your positive attitude. Sometimes it’s hard to focus on the blessings in your life, when you are hurting so much. {Hugs} Your posts have always been an encouragement since our TTC journey began.

  • Charity
    Posted at 02:15h, 23 August Reply

    Thank you for the reminder Caroline. Your words always come in perfect timing. I am working on changing my perspective so I can remain positive more often. Having friends like you that remind me where to place my focus has truly helped!!

  • Becky
    Posted at 15:07h, 23 August Reply

    Amen amen amen! We can choose to take our negative thoughts captive and surrender them. We can choose joy over sorrow and optimism over pessimism, and it truly is a beautiful thing when that happens! Love this! 🙂

  • fillmynest
    Posted at 16:39h, 23 August Reply

    So very true! I can totally relate to the shock of finding out an infertility diagnosis. I spent too long wallowing and despairing. But when I asked for and received the peace of God–what a difference! It really does transcend understanding. And looking up instead of down has changed my day-to-day in more ways than I can enumerate. What a great post and wonderful reminder!

  • torthúil
    Posted at 18:59h, 23 August Reply

    Very good points. I would only add that it is sometimes necessary to feel the sorrow and negative energy, to acknowledge its existence and the fact that this is a difficult journey. But I agree that it is also necessary, as you say, to consciously choose our thoughts because they do influence our actions. Thoughts and actions are habit-forming, so better to have as many healthy habits as possible rather than ones that are destructive to self and others.

  • Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimples
    Posted at 22:58h, 23 August Reply

    Truer words have not been spoken. How are you such a darn inspiration all the time? 🙂

  • Megan Davis
    Posted at 11:28h, 24 August Reply

    I love this! I cried for days when we first got our results, but soon learned that this was nothing but self pity and weakness. It was in those moments I remembered the reminder of a former pastor… “We can’t listen to ourselves, we have to talk to ourselves”. Speaking truth into difficult situations is not the natural response and must be practiced, but what joy that can be found when we do!
    Love your heart sweet girl 🙂

  • Gypsy Mama
    Posted at 17:35h, 24 August Reply

    You’re right. Every day we have the choice to think positively, and ultimately be happy 🙂

  • Isabelle
    Posted at 00:02h, 25 August Reply

    I tried to comment the other day but the interwebz ate it up. I was just saying that we can go to that sad place for a little while but we need to bounce back from it and go somewhere a lot more productive and positive. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

  • Em
    Posted at 21:40h, 01 January Reply

    Your positivity always, always amazes me. You truly are inspirational, Caroline. What a worthy post for the Creme! And what a great reminder.

  • Chantel
    Posted at 18:05h, 09 April Reply

    I love Romans 12:2 in that version, it’s been a long time since I read it like that. What a great reminder for me. Praying for you in so many ways right now friend!

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