The Dreaded “C” Word
Colby and I have had 8 doctor’s appointments in the past few weeks and I think we are feeling ready to share what has been going on. It’s been hard not sharing, as we believe in the power of prayer, and let me tell you, even harder to navigate the fine line of what and when we share. We have been so open this whole journey and awful topics like this aren’t the kind of news we ever expected to have to tell anyone. We wanted to use wisdom on the timing of what we told people, but after 8 appointments, and some answers, we are finally ready to share some details about what has been going on in our world.
I want to first say, if you are a close friend or family member and this blog post is how you have to find out, please know that I am sorry. It’s been a hard few weeks and I didn’t have it in me to personally reach out to each person, so please extend grace. The reality is sometimes a post like this is the easiest way to communicate, even if it takes away some of the personalization of it all.
Back in 2005 Colby had cancer and surgery, but did not need chemo or radiation, praise God.
Fast forward to 2012, a year after we got married, when we decided we were ready for kids, and we both went to the fertility doctor. We didn’t receive the best news then, but remained hopeful as we follow the Father’s prompting for us to forego medical treatment or adoption.
Which leads us to where we are now. In the last few weeks, after not feeling right and due to his past, we jumped straight into seeing doctors. We started with his Oncologist, who then referred us to a Urologist. We weren’t happy with that Urologist, so we went to see a different Urologist. And in the middle of all that we were thrown into seeing a fertility doctor three times as well. 8 appointments later and we have some answers.
After tests and more tests and more tests doctors have told us that the cancer is back and another surgery will be needed. So we are dealing with two things: cancer and fertility.
We are currently believing for several things:
• That the cancer/tumor dissolves, shrinks, dissipates or dies. Basically put nicely, that it goes back to hell where it came from.
• That health and function be restored to conceive biological, healthy children
• That Colby’s body would come in to alignment and that in addition to the tumor going away, no cancer would be found anywhere else.
• That surgery would not be needed and that radiation/chemo would not be needed either.
We clearly aren’t seeing what we want manifest in the natural. This is actually the exact opposite of what we want. But just like Abraham, we are calling into being things that don’t exist yet. Even though the odds are stacked against us and everything looks hopeless we are putting our trust in God and expecting him to perform a miracle for us (Romans 4:17).
We are not denying what doctors have told us; we are so grateful for them, but we are denying the right for cancer to exist in Colby’s body. Colby might have been diagnosed with cancer, but we believe that by the stripes of Jesus, he is healed.
For 6 years, we have said we were believing for a miracle and without releasing too many details, let’s just say the term miracle has a whole new meaning when you are facing a situation that we are currently in. So will you believe and agree with us for a miracle? Will you believe and ask for God’s Word to manifest over Colby’s life? Will you agree with us that we will have biological children and that cancer will not exist in Colby’s body?
As of now, surgery is tentatively scheduled, but we have some more appointments before then. I will be updating via the blog and hopefully include some other thoughts I have been having too. We won’t get through this alone, so a big thank you to all those who are supporting us and praying for us, it truly means the world!
PS. If you are going through infertility, please head over to join a faith-based support group I founded, Moms in the Making!
PPS. Have you picked up a copy of my book? Buy In Due Time, a 60-day devotional for hope + encouragement in the waiting.
PPPS. I created a group on facebook as an extension of my book + blog to discuss anything + everything. Women only! Come join us!