Kai ATRT brain cancer

Three Year Heavenversary

Tomorrow, March 21st, marks 3 years since we said goodbye to the sweetest, cutest, most fun, and lovable two year old nephew of ours. Three years ago on this day, and on my brother and sister-in-laws anniversary, they had to say goodbye to their firstborn son.

The unthinkable happened to my family back in March of 2014. My 2.5 year old nephew was diagnosed with ATRT brain cancer and passed away just 15 days later. Just as anyone who experiences such a tragedy knows, we were left heartbroken.

It is amazing how fast three years can go by and yet things feel as though they just happened yesterday. I can’t describe all the mixed emotions that come when I think about Kai. There is so much happiness that he is in heaven with Jesus. I mean really… that is unfathomable to think about. He is healed. He is cancer-free. He is with the King. I get a little jealous at times when I think of all the pain he has to skip here on earth. But, then there are the emotions of sadness, pain, wonder, and longing. I am so sad and heartbroken he isn’t here and I long to see him. I can easily experience all of these within a matter of minutes or hours. I am reminded that each day that passes brings us one day closer to seeing him again and I am so thankful that over the years we have been able to grieve with hope; hope knowing that he is in heaven and hope in the day we are reunited again.

I love this sweet boy and even though I hate the situation it’s important to me that I honor and celebrate the very full life he lived here on earth. Not a day goes by where you aren’t thought about and remembered, sweet boy. Love you and miss you. Love wins. 

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PS. Did you see the announcement I made the other day?

PPS. Have you picked up a copy of my book? Buy In Due Time, a 60-day devotional for hope + encouragement in the waiting.

PPPS. I created a group on facebook as an extension of my book + blog to discuss anything + everything. Women only! Come join us!

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  • Amanda
    Posted at 07:40h, 20 March Reply

    What a sweet boy. Praying for peace for your family today! I picture my precious R who will be 2 this year, and I really can’t even imagine that kind of loss.

  • Rebecca Jo
    Posted at 09:01h, 20 March Reply

    Thank goodness for memories… I know the missing part of your hearts are still there. Glad you all have hope in heaven!!!

  • Raven
    Posted at 09:14h, 20 March Reply

    Oh I remember when all this happened, it does not feel like it’s been 3 years. Wishing you peace and comfort today, and every day.

  • Dreaming of Diapers
    Posted at 10:12h, 20 March Reply

    I remember you writing about his diagnosis 3 yrs ago…..heartbreaking…but celebrating him, knowing he is with the King and honoring the special life he had here on this earth is beautiful…Thinking of you C….xo

  • Cheryl
    Posted at 18:48h, 20 March Reply

    I’m SO sorry, Caroline. I still think about you all and pray for you. God hold you close to Him always!

  • Stephanie Gilbert
    Posted at 07:40h, 21 March Reply

    I can’t imagine how difficult this loss must be on your family. Praying for strength and lots of love for your family today!

  • Amie P
    Posted at 11:28h, 21 March Reply

    This just breaks my heart every time I think about it for your family but it hurts even more now that I have a child of my own. I just can’t imagine what you all went through and are still going through after his loss. Think of all of you! hugs

  • Patricia
    Posted at 15:42h, 21 March Reply

    I didn’t realize it’s their anniversary too. Oh this breaks my heart but I also understand that feeling of rejoicing for his heavenly home as you fight through the pain. Love you friend and praying for your family today.

  • Lauren
    Posted at 20:23h, 22 March Reply

    Love you, sweet friend. And love how you honor his memory, constantly affirming your faith in the Lord. Wish I was in your city to give you some hugs. ?

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